Darkharbinger Funny Status Messages

   For those of you that watched the debate, I basically did the same thing, only when I was done picking my nose, I had something to show for it

   I dont like my eyes, they show me things I dont want to see.

   President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.

   Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.

   I wonder what my toothpaste meant by 'extra sensitive.' Turns out it doesn't like when I use other toothpastes.

   never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet

   Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.

   I am only the bigger person in an argument because I am fat, remember that

   Saving daylight? Who am I, Superman?

   Knowledge is knowing that hot peppers are a fruit; wisdom is putting them in a fruit salad.

   Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.

   "I used to think that my life was a cringe compilation, but now, I realize it's a try not to laugh challenge."

   I asked to 2024's manager today, it was 2021

   No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.