santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Dear Santa don't drink the milk at Bill Cosby's house!!!
←Rate | 12-12-2014 17:18 by @gnarleycharley Comments (1)  

   messageicon if you are posting how many days there are until Christmas in November, you should have to do all the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 11:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
←Rate | 12-03-2012 09:54 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh...F*ck it, I'll buy my own sh#t.......
←Rate | 11-30-2011 09:24 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says "Help, need ride!"
←Rate | 11-26-2012 10:34 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Dad asked me what I wanted for Xmas tonight. I told him a gift certificate from Adam and Eve so I could get that swing set. He said he thought the kids were a bit old for it but he said he would look it up online. Boy is he in for a surprise.....
←Rate | 12-16-2010 17:18 by Peter Gillespie Comments (0)  

   messageicon December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas. Some insist on a shirt; others a pair of socks, and the argument always ends in a tie.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 11:07 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-16-2012 20:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
←Rate | 11-23-2012 16:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.
←Rate | 09-13-2016 04:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-27-2010 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon This "fancy" wine rack I got for Christmas is total crap. NONE of these boxes fit at all
←Rate | 01-29-2010 14:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
←Rate | 12-25-2012 19:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's February. Think now may be a good time to take down your freakin' Christmas lights? Hmm?
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well Easter is almost over, just saw Walmart employees putting up Christmas Decorations......
←Rate | 04-16-2017 11:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks
←Rate | 12-23-2010 05:17 Comments (4)  

   messageicon showed my son the switch that makes the fridge light go off when the door closes. He looked at me like I'd just shot Santa in the nuts.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 09:35 by dragon-king Comments (0)  

   messageicon NBA's first games start Christmas day....Worst Christmas present EVER!!
←Rate | 11-27-2011 08:00 by K-Mac Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr....
←Rate | 11-19-2011 13:14 by Dave Comments (0)  

   messageicon tried to mail you something cute for christmas but the postoffice took the stamp off my butt and asked me to leave...
←Rate | 12-20-2010 19:48 by AmyRulz;-) Comments (1)  

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