santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
←Rate | 10-18-2018 03:28 by Crewz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 08:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon its christmas time. lets see some funnies and not democratic bull
←Rate | 12-19-2017 05:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?
←Rate | 09-27-2018 01:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 11:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wow, Santa! Have you lost some weight? And have you been working out? I can sure tell...Because you look great for your age!" Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer
←Rate | 12-08-2018 08:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
←Rate | 12-13-2017 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
←Rate | 01-06-2017 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At Christmas time it's fun to take a new Lexus for a test drive, put a big red bow on it & pull into random people's driveways honking.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 16:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well Easter is almost over, just saw Walmart employees putting up Christmas Decorations......
←Rate | 04-16-2017 11:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out Santa is the ultimate Millennial Hipster ..... He works one day a year .... and spends the rest of the year judging you.
←Rate | 12-02-2016 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a Christmas reminder. Buy your kids a big pack of batteries and attach a card that says "Toys not Included".
←Rate | 11-27-2011 17:16 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.
←Rate | 09-13-2016 04:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a TON of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics on Facebook.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 23:53 by @topherjordan Comments (3)  


   messageicon My Dad asked me what I wanted for Xmas tonight. I told him a gift certificate from Adam and Eve so I could get that swing set. He said he thought the kids were a bit old for it but he said he would look it up online. Boy is he in for a surprise.....
←Rate | 12-16-2010 17:18 by Peter Gillespie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
←Rate | 11-23-2012 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one!
←Rate | 12-12-2013 15:28 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you are posting how many days there are until Christmas in November, you should have to do all the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
←Rate | 11-27-2016 09:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be home for Christmas.....and in therapy by New Years.
←Rate | 12-08-2016 09:12 Comments (0)  




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