huck Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon 1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, "It has to look like an accident." 4. Walk away.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 06:11 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am the undefeated champion of this"smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don't-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day" game
←Rate | 09-06-2012 10:19 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking
←Rate | 04-30-2014 06:49 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:20 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked
←Rate | 07-16-2017 07:15 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't want to say I'm out of shape, but I can't even jog my memory without breaking a sweat.
←Rate | 04-29-2015 12:12 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 06:18 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I hear someone say Right About Now, I end it with Funk Soul Brother.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 09:11 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:56 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 06:15 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon My favorite part about playing video games is probably thwarting evil. You never get to thwart anything in real life. I like to thwart.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 08:06 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Want to end road rage? Put manual windows in every car. By the time you're done rolling down your window to yell, you're too tired to be mad
←Rate | 02-26-2013 06:35 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just lost my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about that
←Rate | 03-02-2013 06:00 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
←Rate | 09-29-2014 04:30 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:24 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Price Is Right losing horn should play every time you think you've found a parking space but it's actually filled by a small car or motorcycle
←Rate | 12-27-2012 07:32 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
←Rate | 02-14-2014 05:02 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I've decided to start growling.
←Rate | 09-23-2014 05:27 by Huck Comments (0)  

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