djjackson Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I went to the bank today. I saw a man with a mask and gloves come in and thank God he was just there to rob the place.
←Rate | 04-07-2020 15:58 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a case of corona from walmart and I never felt better!
←Rate | 04-07-2020 15:36 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like I’m going to have to buy toilet paper. That brush next to the toilet hurts.
←Rate | 03-30-2020 15:53 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon A priest rabbi and a nun walk into a ...Nevermind. Bars closed.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 12:13 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's been a major recall on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Bring them to my house so I can dispose of them properly.
←Rate | 10-28-2019 11:23 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs.
←Rate | 09-27-2019 17:55 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you grew up playing “lawn darts” with your siblings, your parents had too many kids and were trying to thin the herd.
←Rate | 09-06-2019 11:47 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to KFC yesterday and when I was done licking my fingers, I offered to lick other peoples fingers. Long story short. I need bail money.
←Rate | 09-05-2019 20:42 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was younger I wanted to play guitar really badly. And after lots of hard work and practice, I now play the guitar really badly.
←Rate | 05-16-2019 14:46 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Goo Goo Dolls are opening for Lady Gaga. Fans are sure to go Goo Goo Gaga over it.
←Rate | 05-16-2019 12:47 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ate too much salad over the weekend so I'm going on an Oreo cleanse today.
←Rate | 11-06-2017 08:58 by djjackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon United Airlines just released their new frequent flyer app. Easy to use, too. It's all drag and drop.
←Rate | 04-12-2017 09:01 by djjackson Comments (0)  




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