Zubindalal1 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My wife is so much more attractive without having glasses on. That's why I always take mine off when I get home from work!
←Rate | 07-26-2012 11:38 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alcohol is the worst thing in the world... My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying - "I love you" to his Own Wife !!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 13:00 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's the difference between a joke and three c**ks? The girl we met last night couldn't take a joke.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 11:02 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My c**k was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once. But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:52 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't say happiness without saying penis. Coincidence ? I think NOT...
←Rate | 07-24-2012 03:04 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife.
←Rate | 07-23-2012 11:06 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Husband-Y r there torn condoms lying on sofa? Wife-What? Where? Wife goes 2 find them & comes back angrily saying-Will you stop calling our children “Torn condoms”?
←Rate | 07-23-2012 10:56 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mr Tickle wanted to marry the girl of his dreams. However, Tess was reluctant to take on his surname.
←Rate | 07-22-2012 07:09 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I installed a clapper in my bedroom last week so that I can turn my lights on and off by just lying in bed clapping my hands. I never really thought that one through... Every time I have a wank my room becomes like a nightclub with strobe lighting.
←Rate | 07-22-2012 06:39 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she said, "Remember, you have a wife."
←Rate | 07-21-2012 10:23 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm - you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 10:18 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saved my girlfriends phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'. Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 10:00 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife.
←Rate | 07-19-2012 15:21 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn. I told her, I love my car but I still watch NASCAR
←Rate | 07-19-2012 15:16 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People say drinking milk makes you stronger. I drunk 5 glasses of milk and tried to move a wall. It didn't work. Then, I drank 5 glasses of vodka and the wall moved alone!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 00:44 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Expecting your guy to be romantic all the time is like expecting you to behave like a porn star all the time.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 10:03 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't even explain how my blow up doll makes me feel before sex. She really takes my breath away.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 14:44 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Give It To Me" She Screamed, "I'm getting Wet, Give It To Me Now".... "Screw Off" I replied "This Is My Umbrella"
←Rate | 07-13-2012 15:25 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A wife tattooed "I LOVE U" on her nipples and showed it to her husband. He replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth! "
←Rate | 07-09-2012 10:05 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael Jackson didn't die. He simply completed his course of plastic surgery in 2009, turned into a young gay white boy & renamed himself Justin Bieber...
←Rate | 07-09-2012 09:59 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

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