RandomGirlie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Before that van starts a'rockin, make sure that c*ck's got a stockin'!
←Rate | 03-28-2010 17:48 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the outcome of what I strive for is consistently determined by things completely out of my control, my give-a-damn reacts accordingly. I'm just sayin'...
←Rate | 03-24-2010 23:29 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of peeps these days have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 22:59 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 22:51 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you try to look hot in your profile pic, check the scenery. There's a dookie in the toilet behind you! Not hot!!!!
←Rate | 03-24-2010 22:37 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The perfect work excuse: "Hello? Boss? Yes, I'm sorry, I will not be coming to work today. I'm having vision problems. I can't see myself coming to work today!"
←Rate | 03-23-2010 21:55 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Obama: a little diaper logic for you. If it stinks, change it....but you aren't supposed to replace it with another sh*tty one!!!
←Rate | 03-23-2010 18:38 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget the "Dislike" button....can we get a "Don't Give a F*ck" button ?
←Rate | 03-19-2010 20:20 by RandomGirlie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Winter is supposed to leave tomorrow, so he showed up early this morning, threw sh*t around, made me feel cold and desolate, and left his money shot all over my car. He must be related to my ex.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 18:29 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kid pointed to his crotch all day and said "woody!"
←Rate | 03-17-2010 23:28 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw this on an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, oh...fly Delta?)
←Rate | 03-16-2010 15:10 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't stand people who say "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
←Rate | 03-16-2010 15:07 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 15:00 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 14:59 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 22:04 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we really knew exactly what we were getting into when we decided to have kids, I'm pretty sure we'd be screwed as a species.
←Rate | 02-24-2010 21:36 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pirate first aid: If the wound is smaller than your fist, drink rum. If it's larger than your fist, stuff a parrot in it.
←Rate | 02-20-2010 14:57 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the assclown who was driving the Prius in front of me earlier: The interstate DOES NOT HAVE a left turn lane. Not sure why it took you 23 miles to figure this out....
←Rate | 02-19-2010 23:43 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Today, thank you for trying. I'm glad you're almost over. Love, X
←Rate | 02-17-2010 20:43 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  




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