Heather25 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Thinks that you people are just lucky that I am so terrified of Prison!!
←Rate | 12-08-2010 15:21 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee's poured? Check. Facebook's running? Check. So far so good. Now I'm ready for the day to go to hell as usual.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 15:14 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have been hit hard with the "Your kids will turn out just like you" curse!
←Rate | 12-08-2010 15:11 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realizes that the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 15:09 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best revenge is success, or laxatives in cookies. ;)
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:59 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They said not to sniff markers, but then they made scented ones...
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:54 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's the best advice of the day: If you call a psychic and they don't greet you by name, HANG UP!!!
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:50 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm from a small town full of gossip. I used to catch up whenever I talked to my folks. Now whenever they tell me something, I already know. Thanks Facebook.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:26 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks. Because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:05 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so there are no misunderstandings, I am here for my own entertainment.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:03 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon How come no one will ever hold my hand and skip with me in public places??
←Rate | 12-07-2010 14:53 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about this status is by the time you realize it's completely worthless it's too late for you to stop reading it. ;)
←Rate | 12-03-2010 11:59 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Playing Wheel Of Fortune- Phrase G_F_CK Y_ _RS_LF ..would you like to solve or would you like to buy a vowel??
←Rate | 12-03-2010 11:49 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was always told to practice the Golden Rule-treat others like I wanted to be treated...so I spanked you and pulled your hair.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 11:33 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Duct tape" - finding a cure to noise pollution, one mouth at a time.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 10:11 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like this status if you have ever tried to accomplish something before the microwave timer ends.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:57 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:46 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes officer, I did hit the pedestrian, but instead of dwelling on that why not focus on how many I've missed??
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:41 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon convinced there is NO functional family. Every family has a relative they would prefer to keep kidden. If you think your family doesn't have one...it's YOU.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:39 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've given up jogging for GOOD! I realized it was hazardous to my health after my thighs rubbed together so much my underwear caught on fire!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:30 by Heather25 Comments (0)  




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