santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.
←Rate | 12-14-2017 05:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop
←Rate | 12-14-2017 05:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Getting Christmas gifts for my kids gets harder as they get older, mostly because I can't remember where I hid them.
←Rate | 12-13-2017 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
←Rate | 12-13-2017 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If one of Santa Claus's helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
←Rate | 12-12-2017 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
←Rate | 12-09-2017 23:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once again this year, Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.
←Rate | 12-09-2017 16:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Xmas idea: let your child watch Chucky, then explain Elf on the Shelf
←Rate | 12-09-2017 15:12 by TD Comments (1)  


   messageicon Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
←Rate | 12-09-2017 08:36 by UncleBubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon By useing earbuds it gave me alot of practice to un-tangling a string of Christmas lights
←Rate | 12-04-2017 21:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Santa, have you been working out? It sure shows. By the way, I love the new work flow plan you've established for the elves. Very efficient!" - Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer
←Rate | 12-02-2017 09:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: Santa Claus accused of sexual harassment for having girls sit on his lap and asking if they are naughty.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon christmas has been cancelled this year due to santa being fired for inappropriate behavior by asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 12:24 by bdog Comments (0)  


   messageicon breaking news... sorry folks, christmas has been cancelled due to santa being fired for asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 10:33 by bdog Comments (0)  


   messageicon R. M. Was turned down on his offer to play santa at an all girls middle school.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 00:00 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Claustrophobic : A person afraid of Santa Claus
←Rate | 11-26-2017 07:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 23:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a new Christmas Tree today. The shop owner said to me, "Are you going to put that up yourself?", "No" I replied, "I was thinking to put it in the Lounge!"
←Rate | 11-20-2017 05:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With Christmas just around the corner, it's important to remember to never trust electronics buying advice from people who have Beats headphones.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 09:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween is over time to put up the Christmas decorations.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 00:00 Comments (0)  


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