santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Walmart is giving away free Christmas decorations as long as you can outrun security.
←Rate | 11-14-2023 10:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fair warning: If I see anybody wearing a Santa Claus hat before Thanksgiving I'm going to give them a wedgie, whether I know them or not.
←Rate | 11-04-2023 12:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's finally November! That means it's time I get to start saying the two words everybody wants to hear: Merry Christmas!
←Rate | 11-04-2023 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’d like to be the first to wish you all a very merry Christmas
←Rate | 04-21-2023 08:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
←Rate | 01-12-2023 01:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbors still have their Christmas wreath on the door. I was gonna knock to complain, but I don’t like confrontation so I just took it.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 05:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s safe to unplug your Christmas lights until next year.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Merry Christmas offends you, then Merry Christmas!
←Rate | 01-06-2023 00:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ghosts from A Christmas Carol are the scariest, because they show you what people are saying about you behind your back.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah yes, it's that wonderful time of year between Christmas and New Years that I like to call "The Festive Perineum".
←Rate | 12-27-2022 12:21 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa! Listen here! I'll keep eating my deer jerky while you give me what I want for Christmas or Rudolph is next. Make it happen fat man!
←Rate | 12-24-2022 15:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joe exotic was going to do a Christmas song, But he hates carols
←Rate | 12-24-2022 10:33 by DJJIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try my best to be a thoughtful husband. So, I'm gonna surprise my wife with a new bag and belt for Christmas ! The old vacuum cleaner is gonna run like new now .
←Rate | 12-23-2022 20:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sitting here wrapping Christmas presents with one hand. If any of you find a Band-aid in your gift, don't touch it.. I'm still waiting on the test results.
←Rate | 12-23-2022 06:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning! If you get a link that says "Justin Barber sings Christmas carols" Don't open it! It's Justin Barber singing Christmas carols.
←Rate | 12-22-2022 20:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa put down the pen! I can explain everything!
←Rate | 12-21-2022 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the reason why Santa has a naughty list.
←Rate | 12-19-2022 15:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The White House hosted its annual Hanukkah party and everything was going great until Biden pulled on a rabbi's beard and said, "You're not Santa."
←Rate | 12-19-2022 05:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, I was good at being NAUGHTY. Does that count for anything?
←Rate | 12-17-2022 11:02 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me get this straight; a fat man who breaks and enters into my home, who steals all my Christmas cookies, is the one who judges if I'm naughty or nice?
←Rate | 12-16-2022 10:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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