nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I used my husband’s deodorant, so if you need me to explain how to throw a football I can do that for you.
←Rate | 10-30-2020 13:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon He left his fantasy football open and I rearranged his line up by how hot the players are. That’s how the fight started
←Rate | 09-15-2020 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This lifelong football fan now has an extra 3 hours to do projects and other tasks like shopping on Sundays from now on.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bite me. Football starts next week and I'm watching it. 🐬
←Rate | 09-03-2020 07:56 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The Washington Redskins are temporarily changing their name to the "Washington Football Team", or in other words "WTF".
←Rate | 07-24-2020 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are throwing a football, a baseball or kicking a soccer ball in a park, you need to be more than six feet apart. If you aren't, you're in big trouble because you really suck at your sport.
←Rate | 04-28-2020 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My TV got hacked at Superbowl halftime. I saw a Puerto Rican Strip Club on Spanish language channel, old crotch grabbin' hussies.
←Rate | 02-04-2020 08:53 by Rockpile Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."
←Rate | 02-03-2020 06:37 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do football players wait until the last 5 minutes of the 4th quarter to play with any real intensity?
←Rate | 01-19-2020 21:26 by Clamois Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some good tax news for you Michigan trolls. The IRS announced today that you can write off your Michigan Wolverine football season tickets as a total loss.
←Rate | 12-04-2019 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We bought an 82 inch TV. Football: awesome Porn: terrifying
←Rate | 10-12-2019 10:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 9:00 AM on a Saturday.
←Rate | 08-26-2019 14:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rather than crush the spider I started telling it about my fantasy football team and it peacefully left on its own.
←Rate | 08-17-2019 06:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beto is like the guy that gets cut from the High School football team and says now he's going to join the NFL
←Rate | 03-22-2019 10:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be taking a knee at my Superbowl party in protest of white supremacy and police brutality.
←Rate | 02-03-2019 10:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ask a meteorologist who will win the Superbowl......then go with the other team ;-)
←Rate | 01-27-2019 11:03 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  


   messageicon It should be a Thanksgiving tradition that one of the football games be the Patriots vs the Redskins.
←Rate | 11-01-2018 00:35 by Ha.ha Comments (2)  


   messageicon I'm holding cheerleader try outs for my "Fantasy football team". Full outfits are encourage but not necessary.
←Rate | 09-18-2018 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it’s not domestic violence or a wild party. It’s football season, that’s just me screaming at my TV.
←Rate | 09-10-2018 06:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Jimmy Garoppolo said he watches a lot of film, I thought it was talking about football
←Rate | 07-26-2018 10:01 by Kado Comments (0)  




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