sms Funny Status Messages

   APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.

   Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

   The opinions expressed here are not those of my employer, my wife, my church, or myself... But they are the opinions of Elvis as revealed to me through the medium of my pet hamster, Lee Harvey Oswald...

   Warning: Spelling errors in this message are the product of a poor school system. Pay teachures more than athletes.

   There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. - Groundskeeper Willie

   He's dead... But look! Hundreds of bright copper kettles, warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up in string! Someone was after a few of this guy's favorite things.

   3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers. I'm ready for bootycall Friday night to begin!

   <Rages against the vending machine