Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The only real model we have for a trump presidency is the movie "first kid"
←Rate | 11-20-2016 00:23 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
←Rate | 09-07-2016 20:54 by Zinc Comments (1)  


   messageicon life is short…smile while you still have teeth
←Rate | 05-23-2016 16:20 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can cope with voices in my head but it is the voices outside my head that are going to drive me crazy.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon People ask me why I don’t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try, St. Patrick’s Day, but I don’t need a reason to drink.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 11:37 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends @JhonRules
←Rate | 11-10-2015 00:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You want proof that baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?" ~Jim Bouton
←Rate | 10-18-2015 23:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up. ~Bob Lemon
←Rate | 10-18-2015 23:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a new app that tells you which of your friends are family are racist, it is called facebook.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 00:32 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure why Amtraks slogan is not "Travel with your drugs, we won't check""
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always lick my lips when I see kids in public places because they need to realize their are bad people in this world
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to have three kids than name them Ctrl, Alt, Delete than if they screw up I can hit them all at once. #ellen
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last year I asked santa for the sexiest person ever and I woke up in a box
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna steal a Krispy Kreme truck then go on a high speed chase becuase it will be funny to watch a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I totally get why women are attracted to men who ride motorcycles. Like you increase your chances of getting to have two husbands by a lot.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:58 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:55 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon "YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?" - guy that just got a new kite for his birthday
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


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