Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Oh good YouPorn put up all their Easter themed porn.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Already rolling my eyes in preparation for the 4/20 snap chats I get on Easter.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."
←Rate | 03-25-2017 01:44 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:56 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivm not leaving a will.. My final act will be leaving one more thing my family can fight about.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:55 by ZINC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I have different ideas on death. I want to be cremated when I die and she wants to cremate me now.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:51 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only real model we have for a trump presidency is the movie "first kid"
←Rate | 11-20-2016 00:23 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
←Rate | 09-07-2016 20:54 by Zinc Comments (1)  


   messageicon life is short…smile while you still have teeth
←Rate | 05-23-2016 16:20 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can cope with voices in my head but it is the voices outside my head that are going to drive me crazy.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon People ask me why I don’t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try, St. Patrick’s Day, but I don’t need a reason to drink.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 11:37 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends @JhonRules
←Rate | 11-10-2015 00:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You want proof that baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?" ~Jim Bouton
←Rate | 10-18-2015 23:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up. ~Bob Lemon
←Rate | 10-18-2015 23:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a new app that tells you which of your friends are family are racist, it is called facebook.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 00:32 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure why Amtraks slogan is not "Travel with your drugs, we won't check""
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always lick my lips when I see kids in public places because they need to realize their are bad people in this world
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to have three kids than name them Ctrl, Alt, Delete than if they screw up I can hit them all at once. #ellen
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  




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