Vito Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon So it turns out that "The Love Shack" does, indeed, turn up on your bank statement.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 00:29 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just told a lie and now my pants feel warm. I hope they dont catch fire!
←Rate | 03-10-2010 15:15 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bumped into a guy wearing a camouflage jacket. I really didn't see him.
←Rate | 03-09-2010 13:09 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heading out to do laundry with a roll of quarters in my pocket. I hope I dont run into anyone I am happy to see.
←Rate | 03-08-2010 21:53 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hoarders is on tonite. I like that show because it makes me feel like I'm tidy
←Rate | 03-08-2010 21:23 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my neighbors dont tone it down a little bit, I am going to have to change my WiFi network name to "I can hear you having sex".
←Rate | 03-04-2010 00:08 by Vito Comments (1)  


   messageicon Drinking Heinekin Light and Eating Fat Free Doritos. Gotta get ready for beach season!
←Rate | 02-21-2010 18:52 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day is Fat Tuesday for me because I'm Fat =(
←Rate | 02-16-2010 18:53 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo Mama is so fat! She uses an iPad as an iPhone.
←Rate | 01-27-2010 22:37 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just busted my Gold Fish smoking seaweed. No wonder he was always hungry and paranoid.
←Rate | 01-10-2010 00:35 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I need to start doing pullups to get more of the ladies attention. Pull up in a Benz, Pull up in a Vette, Pull up in a Beamer....
←Rate | 01-08-2010 10:26 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Help! My Chia Pet is sick and I'm not sure if I should bring it to the Vet or the Florist?
←Rate | 01-07-2010 23:40 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just accidentally dropped a bowling ball on my bed and my wine glass fell over. I wish I had Tempur-pedic bed
←Rate | 12-22-2009 23:08 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walked by A Maternity Clothes Store today and there was a "Please Come Inside" sign on the door. Duh, Why do you think they need Maternity Clothes
←Rate | 12-14-2009 00:52 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the The Pillsbury Doughboy gets pissed if you poke him on Facebook?
←Rate | 11-18-2009 12:19 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me...It's Sunday.
←Rate | 10-11-2009 16:40 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon This weekends forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out
←Rate | 08-01-2009 13:27 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't find Sesame Street on his GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 00:35 by Vito Comments (0)  




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