David Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I fractured my @ss today doing a cannonball into the bathtub today...
←Rate | 02-02-2012 23:00 by david Comments (0)  


   messageicon whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously has never sold weed
←Rate | 01-31-2012 01:41 by david Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to try and say this te nicest way possible. wait I better hold my tounge when I say .... "FQ!"
←Rate | 12-13-2011 13:09 by david Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on every time I see a "for lease" sign, I will put a "navidad" sign under it
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:31 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon with out me awesome would just be awes
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:09 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend just told me she was going to break up with me if I didn't quit making Linkin Park references. but in the end it doesn't even matter
←Rate | 11-01-2011 12:48 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The strangest of all bipolar disorders and birth defects is an inability to see things my way...
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:35 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first joint I hit I smoked behind Grandpa's barn. It made me dizzy, and I coughed a lot. "Don't worry, that always happens with the first hit," said Grandpa. "Try another hit." And you know, he was right!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:19 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve multi orgazims. Don't worry if you can't come! For those of you that will come...Sign the guest, list below!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:15 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people around me are alive because I can't afford a hitman....!
←Rate | 09-08-2011 20:01 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tsunami? Wild Fires? Tornadoes? Hurricanes? Earthquakes?...I thought we had til 2012?
←Rate | 09-07-2011 16:57 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon on a (̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅ ̅_̅_̅()ڪے break !!
←Rate | 08-05-2011 05:53 by david Comments (0)  


   messageicon Falling In Love With You Is The Second Best Thing I Have Done .. Finding You Is The First ♥ ..
←Rate | 08-05-2011 05:41 by david Comments (0)  


   messageicon A true friend sees the first tear... catches the second... and stops the third
←Rate | 08-05-2011 05:41 by david Comments (0)  


   messageicon i guess if you got the last name weiner, you better advertise it!
←Rate | 06-02-2011 21:02 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I truly don't understand the needs for ladies 70 and above to bath in their perfume, unless their trying to kill their husband.
←Rate | 05-21-2011 22:19 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Prince William, I'mma let you finish and all, but we had the most historic event OF ALL TIME.
←Rate | 05-02-2011 17:31 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon You give that porn actress an award?, she sucks! Nevermind....
←Rate | 01-08-2011 13:40 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are late to special ed is it proper for the teacher to say that you are tardy?
←Rate | 09-19-2010 23:34 by David Comments (1)  


   messageicon throwing the new MySpace Profile out with the trash where it belongs :)
←Rate | 08-26-2010 14:25 by David Comments (0)  




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