Cj Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.
←Rate | 05-29-2012 23:16 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try this: Get in a elevator with a bunch of strangers make sure you'r closest to the door,then turn and say, "I'm sure you'r all wondering why I gathered you here."
←Rate | 05-26-2012 11:47 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you seen these gas prices?? I just filled up and it doubled the value of my car!!
←Rate | 05-24-2012 14:12 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life:)
←Rate | 05-18-2012 17:57 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear sweatpants and hoodies: thanks for being there for me. Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it!!
←Rate | 05-05-2012 00:51 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it I can't get mobile reception sometimes, yet a terrorist can upload his videos from a cave in Afghanistan?
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:37 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Based on my wardrobe, dog hair is my favorite color:)
←Rate | 04-28-2012 01:09 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon My karma punch card is going to be full after today:)
←Rate | 04-24-2012 19:09 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should get out of any relationship where you secretly hope the other person is kidnapped and held for a ransom you can't pay.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 17:55 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when crumbs fall down your cleavage.....sometimes I think my boobs eat more than I do
←Rate | 04-11-2012 17:44 by Cj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that melted cheese tastes like a zillion times better than regular cheese?
←Rate | 03-23-2012 22:43 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when you look in a car window to fix ur hair.. after standing there for 5 minutes... you see someone in the car...
←Rate | 03-23-2012 22:13 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't judge a book by it's cover...but you can judge milk by it's smell.
←Rate | 03-15-2012 11:54 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never realize what you have until it's gone...toilet paper is a prime example!
←Rate | 03-01-2012 10:47 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your face isn't a coloring book. Chill on the makeup!!
←Rate | 02-19-2012 12:37 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The apple only falls where you leave it !
←Rate | 01-31-2012 21:41 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Condoms Prevent Minivans!!
←Rate | 01-31-2012 00:18 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to learn the Vietnamese language so I can sit here and understand the ladies doing pedicures. Between their tone and their giggles, I know they're talking Sh*t!!
←Rate | 01-27-2012 20:13 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost a friend overnight, It was very sudden. There must be a reason, but I can't for the life of me think what it might be. Now they're gone. Yesterday I had 583 friends, now only 582 I hope everyone reads this far before they say "sorry for your loss"
←Rate | 01-26-2012 11:03 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rhinos are really just old, fat unicorns. Don't argue. you know i'm right.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 10:22 by CJ Comments (0)  




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