AZ Funny Status Messages

   First they came for the communists and I didn't speak out. Since then everything's been pretty good, plus no communists!

   Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.

   My first thought upon waking up in the morning is "fuuuuck, not again."

   Make librarians cry by calling it a "Book Museum" while taking pictures with your iPad.

   Looking for pornography? Type literally any letter into my search bar

   On a cold night, to make a campfire, all you need is a match, kerosine, and a baby.

   I went to an orphanage and not a single orphan was singing. I assume that's why they're still there.

   There is an elegance, and an art, to being beautifully broken

   Don't ask me for advice my answer is always get them drunk.

   all of my recipes for success end up with me on the floor eating cheese

   I'm not an economist, but I think I could make a lot of money selling drugs.