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Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I’m snoring we end up making love. I’m beginning to question whether or not I snore.
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08-16-2022 07:35
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“I just called to say I love you.” -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
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08-15-2022 16:54
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If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
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08-15-2022 03:35
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Dear Narcissist, I wish I could find a way to love you as much as you love you.
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08-14-2022 11:52 by
Creg
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Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. You will thank me for this later you’re welcome
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08-11-2022 04:24
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A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
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08-08-2022 03:02
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Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.
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08-08-2022 03:00
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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
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08-05-2022 02:14
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Love conquers all things, except poverty and a toothache.
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08-04-2022 01:35
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When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
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08-03-2022 01:23
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Love the deli paper on the doctor’s table. Mmm I’m a sick little sandwich
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08-02-2022 14:20
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Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
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08-02-2022 01:11
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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07-30-2022 01:56
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Black Olives Matter... Just love them right out of the can and on salads.
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07-21-2022 07:38
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i can promise you I will never love anyone enough to ride a tandem bike with them
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07-07-2022 07:41
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I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in face, but with words.
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07-07-2022 00:58
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I could really go for a pinata right about now. I’d love to beat the crap out of something and then have some candy.
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07-04-2022 02:56
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I love when people ask, “How’s a person like you single?” I’m mentally ill.
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06-30-2022 00:59
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Keep your relationship fresh by writing each other love notes like, “I considered murdering you whilst ye slumbered in yon bedchambers.”
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06-28-2022 23:44
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64 year old man: Making love to a younger woman may be fatal…. But if she dies, she dies.
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06-15-2022 01:41
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