matt Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe
←Rate | 04-14-2020 19:59 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
←Rate | 05-16-2021 17:42 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon On the internet, you have a better chance of surviving The Oregon Trail than a trip to WebMD!
←Rate | 05-16-2021 17:48 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon If tomatoes are considered fruits, isnโ€™t ketchup a smoothie?
←Rate | 05-17-2021 13:06 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
←Rate | 05-20-2021 17:24 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't hear any cicadas. I believe everyone is eating them all...
←Rate | 05-29-2021 19:26 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazon, quit fluctuating your prices all the time. sincerely- your customer!
←Rate | 06-18-2021 21:58 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff some guys pay money for in later life.
←Rate | 06-21-2021 17:39 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the hell did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?
←Rate | 06-26-2021 10:19 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Pride flag is up all year around, it's red, white, and blue. Merica' ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
←Rate | 07-02-2021 18:52 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon When men don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine. When women don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine
←Rate | 07-18-2021 10:51 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don't open it. It's spam.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 16:23 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never eating a edible again. I watched an entire movie on mute and started crying because I thought I was deaf.
←Rate | 09-18-2021 13:50 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you can count the number of times you lit off fireworks on one hand and after this week some of you will only be able to count the number of times you lit off fireworks on one hand.
←Rate | 06-30-2023 22:58 by Matt Comments (0)  



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