huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Stevie Wonder just filed for divorce. He wanted to not see other people.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 06:59 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are three stages of a man's life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 07:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an air mattress. It's great because if someone tries to suffocate me in bed I can just poke a hole in it and use it to stay alive.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 07:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:52 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are so excited about the 100m Olympic times, but Jason Voorhees could beat all those clowns just walking.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:54 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cat burglars commit daring robberies with stealthy skills, while kitten burglars are so cute people just give them stuff.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:57 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When asked "What's Up" respond "A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a bizarre turn of events, erectile dysfunction cases are on the rise.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 08:51 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy birthday to Sir Mix-A-Lot! People forget how persecuted big butts were before he wrote that song.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 10:20 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to take a lie detector test at a job interview once. No I didn't.
←Rate | 08-14-2012 05:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats are so disgusting it makes them puke.
←Rate | 08-14-2012 05:32 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it's a guy in a costume every time.
←Rate | 08-14-2012 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: if a man said he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it
←Rate | 08-16-2012 06:58 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Helpful hint: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 07:17 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can't conjugate verbs.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 06:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a card carrying member of Card Carriers. I'd show you my card but my hands are full of cards.
←Rate | 08-25-2012 10:09 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Across this country right now, college marching bands are practicing call me maybe in time for the kickoff of college football.
←Rate | 08-25-2012 10:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting at a crossroad, strange I don't see Bones, Thug or Harmony
←Rate | 08-25-2012 10:12 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet if my favorite rock stars saw how hard I rock out & jam to their music they would say "I want to hang out with that dude forever."
←Rate | 08-28-2012 06:20 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got up at 6am. Did yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 06:30 by Huck Comments (0)  



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