Yoda Funny Status Messages

   to you it's a 6 pack... to me.... it's a support group

   I'm not mooing you.. I'm turning the other cheek

   Many things can be preserved in alcohol, dignity is not one of them...

   I remember my first crush... It was orange

   no amount of cash is petty

   theres no "half-singing" in the shower... you are either a wimp or a Rock Star....

   I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drinking enthusiast!

   I want to be a Disney Princess... Mostly so I would have random animals help me with my housework

   I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright

   I love tan lines... it's like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)

   Significant others are like linoleum floors... Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

   nothing makes you a hypocrite like becoming a parent...

   it sucks when you forget to shake the ketchup and you get the gross juice all over your fries..

   I bet the man who discovered milk felt awkward when he had to explain why he was doing that to a cow in the first place...

   Last night I realized that 3.5 inches could totally satisfy me... Yep, I went shopping with my new credit card!

   Women who think the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach are aiming too high... jest saying

   the secret to my success was knowing who to blame for my failures...

   Paula Deen dropped by Food Network for racial slurs.. she has no one to blame butter self...

   my husband says I have multiple personalities... well 4 can play that game...

   Life can sometimes be like photography… you need the "negatives" to "develop"