Stevielea Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Stevielea': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 3

   messageicon I'm afraid if I start working out, I'll be too sexy.
←Rate | 09-09-2018 03:18 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was younger I used to sneak out Of my home to go to parties, now I sneak away from parties to go home.
←Rate | 09-10-2018 11:52 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you for all your kind messages on my birthday.....and thank you Facebook for reminding them.
←Rate | 09-10-2018 17:01 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm busier than a cucumber in a woman's prison!
←Rate | 09-10-2018 17:03 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon An average person farts 13 times a day......... finally!! I'm above average at something.
←Rate | 09-14-2018 07:03 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.
←Rate | 09-14-2018 07:21 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cut the swooshes of my nike socks and sold them to my neighbours wife to use as eyebrows.
←Rate | 09-16-2018 02:40 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon He wiped away her tears and accidentally her eyebrows too!
←Rate | 09-17-2018 17:49 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm ever on life support, unplug me..... then plug me back in. See if that works.
←Rate | 09-21-2018 11:17 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION!!! Heavy rain is on the forecast this week, please use permanent markers for your eyebrows.
←Rate | 09-23-2018 13:05 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a crowded room I like to let out a silent but deadly fart then shout "do I smell popcorn" so everyone gets a good whiff!
←Rate | 09-23-2018 13:10 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a person who doesn't sing along to Bohemian rhapsody when it comes on the radio!
←Rate | 09-23-2018 18:59 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking rum before 10am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic!
←Rate | 09-25-2018 13:24 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything in my 23 years on earth, it's that it's okay to lie about your age.
←Rate | 09-25-2018 13:29 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people wake up feeling like a million bucks, me? I wake up feeling like insufficient funds.
←Rate | 10-07-2018 04:38 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why weigh yourself when you could set yourself on fire then roll in broken glass and feel the same way!
←Rate | 10-07-2018 04:59 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you think you see a good parking spot but then you turn the corner and Stuart f@&k!Ng little is parked there.
←Rate | 10-07-2018 18:11 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80's far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
←Rate | 10-10-2018 13:36 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon When does hibernation start? Because I'm 100% participating in that!!
←Rate | 10-10-2018 14:48 by Stevielea Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left