Missy Funny Status Messages

   My magic watch say's you don't have any underwear on... Oh, you do?... It must be 15 minutes fast.

   Condoms are cheaper than diapers, remember that:)

   Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out

   Raisin Cookies that look like Chocolate Chip Cookies is the reason why I have trust issues

   if I want to commit suicide , all I would do is jump from your 'EGO' to your ' IQ Level'.

   I want you to know something but I dont want to tell you so I'll let the first three words of this sentence

   Hand Sanitizer: Helping us discover paper cuts we never knew we had

   Just saw an ad on my homepage that read, "Like Writing About Beards? Search For Careers Now!" - because if there's one thing we're really lacking right now, it's freelance beard writers.

   you know....I like my men like my Rum: Gone in the morning....

   "I just want to sit on your Face" ~ is that being to forward?

   Hopes her status is now fixed so she can back to her false reality that she is popular;)

   torn between the options of a two hour walk or a two hour bath...

   I'm great in bed, I can sleep for days!

   A guy fills his Blow-up doll with Helium by accident. Now the b*tch is playing hard to get

   "WANTED" - Meaningful Overnight Relationship, please inbox for details......

   S.I.N.G.L.E. = (S)tress (I)s (N)ow (G)one (L)ife's (E)asier

   Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are

   Despite the cost of living, it's still popular!

   Misunderstandings happen when one person is clearly stupid.

   I'm not really marriage material... since I still have hopes and dreams.