Maria Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Knowlege Is Knowing That A Tomato Is A Fruit, Wisdom Is Not Putting It In A Fruit Salad.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 19:24 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before giving a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 19:25 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon The brunette asked the blonde why there were bullet holes in the mirror. The blonde replied, "because I tried to commit suicide...it didn't work".
←Rate | 05-13-2011 19:25 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."
←Rate | 05-13-2011 19:32 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 19:33 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 19:34 by maria Comments (1)  


   messageicon I must be wishing on someone else's star because every time I wish for something, someone else gets it!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 20:17 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before sex, you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're f***ed
←Rate | 05-13-2011 20:22 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could collect all the tears you made me cry... so I could DROWN you in them!!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 20:46 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
←Rate | 05-13-2011 23:24 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 23:26 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ( the shoplifters special??)
←Rate | 05-13-2011 23:28 by maria Comments (0)  


   messageicon No... I'm not lazy... I'm just resting up for my 30's... (I got a lot planned)
←Rate | 05-14-2011 01:01 by maria Comments (0)  



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