Zubindalal1 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My wife walked out on me after I blew our life savings on a penis extension. She said she just couldn't take it any longer.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 17:13 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I installed a clapper in my bedroom last week so that I can turn my lights on and off by just lying in bed clapping my hands. I never really thought that one through... Every time I have a wank my room becomes like a nightclub with strobe lighting.
←Rate | 07-22-2012 06:39 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Beauty of Vodka:It looks lik Water!! Beauty of School:Water Bottles are Allowed Irony of Life:We didn't Realize This During Our School Days.
←Rate | 07-29-2012 07:21 by Zubindalal1 Comments (1)  

   messageicon "Don't you play stupid with me!" shouted my wife. "Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?" I replied.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 07:27 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't even explain how my blow up doll makes me feel before sex. She really takes my breath away.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 14:44 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 01:51 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael Jackson didn't die. He simply completed his course of plastic surgery in 2009, turned into a young gay white boy & renamed himself Justin Bieber...
←Rate | 07-09-2012 09:59 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My c**k was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once. But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:52 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one....
←Rate | 07-26-2012 13:24 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A wife tattooed "I LOVE U" on her nipples and showed it to her husband. He replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth! "
←Rate | 07-09-2012 10:05 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's the difference between a joke and three c**ks? The girl we met last night couldn't take a joke.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 11:02 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alien 1: “Did the humans get our message?” Alien 2: “Yeah, but they named it dubstep and dance to it.”
←Rate | 08-16-2012 01:23 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mr Tickle wanted to marry the girl of his dreams. However, Tess was reluctant to take on his surname.
←Rate | 07-22-2012 07:09 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But you my friend can kiss my ass!
←Rate | 08-05-2012 00:26 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled 'LSD'?" Granny replies, "Bugger the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"
←Rate | 07-30-2012 11:21 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 14:27 by zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm - you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 10:18 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A little boy asks his dad, "Is it possible to get AIDS from a public toilet seat?" His dad replies, "Only if you sit down before the other guy stands up!"
←Rate | 08-30-2012 11:46 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon After one too many remarks about her weight, my wife went berserk. She screamed, "If you keep up with these fat jokes, you'll drive me to suicide!" "Well I'd have to, you wouldn't walk would you?" I replied.
←Rate | 08-30-2012 11:37 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finished I couldn't believe it when my wife demanded sex the other night just before the start of the 100 meter's final but I have to say, I was pleased with my performance.I finished before Bolt.
←Rate | 08-11-2012 16:59 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  

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