Huck Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport
←Rate | 01-10-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people ask me what I did over the weekend, I always squint and respond “Why, what did you hear?”
←Rate | 10-10-2014 05:26 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:52 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I hear someone say Right About Now, I end it with Funk Soul Brother.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 09:11 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:56 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 06:15 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon 1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, "It has to look like an accident." 4. Walk away.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 06:11 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 05:50 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Want to end road rage? Put manual windows in every car. By the time you're done rolling down your window to yell, you're too tired to be mad
←Rate | 02-26-2013 06:35 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just lost my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about that
←Rate | 03-02-2013 06:00 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:24 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I've decided to start growling.
←Rate | 09-23-2014 05:27 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
←Rate | 02-14-2014 05:02 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: 'last warning, you have a week to get the money together.'
←Rate | 10-24-2013 21:27 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 06:18 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Helpful hint: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 07:17 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 16:03 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon If there is anything I learned from 80's movies it's that I'm the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
←Rate | 06-03-2014 19:53 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I'm dying to pee.
←Rate | 03-08-2013 06:10 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons
←Rate | 02-15-2013 06:06 by Huck Comments (0)  

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