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   messageicon Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?
←Rate | 12-03-2016 01:13 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time a woman tries to defend her insane weight gain with, “Well, I’ve had two children.” Reply with, what? for Breakfast?”
←Rate | 09-12-2016 08:26 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women are natural born artists …….. From drawing eyebrows to drawing conclusions .
←Rate | 09-15-2016 11:35 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives? I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 09:59 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK
←Rate | 11-09-2016 04:41 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon After 30 years of shopping, my wife still has nothing to wear today.
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:19 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon I work as a waiter. The pay isn’t great but I put food on the table.
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:09 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I’m being stalked
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:15 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall. And I plan on sticking to it.
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:13 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
←Rate | 09-12-2016 08:25 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife wanted to try something different in bed last night. So we had sex.
←Rate | 03-03-2017 07:10 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend dumped me last week right after I broke my wrist. Just when I needed her the most.
←Rate | 09-12-2016 08:27 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a woman says she’s wrong, is she still wrong?
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:13 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Waitress: ‘Do you have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘Yes. What kind of font is this?’
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:09 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can’t walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
←Rate | 09-23-2016 09:48 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon My New Year’s resolutions are: 1. Stop making lists. B. Be more consistent. 7. Learn to count.
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:16 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Congratulations to Marijuana for winning more states than Hillary .
←Rate | 11-17-2016 11:35 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sex with someone that doesn’t want to is rape. I thought that was marriage?
←Rate | 09-12-2016 08:28 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got offered a great deal from Vodafone. A new Samsung phone and a free fire extinguisher.
←Rate | 10-11-2016 13:08 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:14 by Comments (0)  

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