sully Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
←Rate | 04-24-2013 16:07 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey..........all the political and media people are in Iowa. If we could somehow fence it off, this is our chance to start a new society. Who's down???
←Rate | 01-03-2012 16:02 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hot dog warmers at Citgo seem to be rolling at half-speed tonight, must be in honor of Chavez?
←Rate | 03-05-2013 19:26 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon While drinking my afternoon coffee, I oftentimes stare out the window... and ask myself: Would prison be all that bad?
←Rate | 06-12-2012 17:20 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
←Rate | 10-27-2012 12:46 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon I say we bury Boston bomber, Tamerlan Tsarnaev's body at Westboro Baptist Church....
←Rate | 05-06-2013 12:50 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Monday I drank a Shirley Temple to mourn her, today I'm going to eat a Caesar salad to mourn Sid, tomorrow I'm having a Bieber burger & crossing my fingers....
←Rate | 02-13-2014 14:32 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon If anything the Lance Armstrong confession confirms my belief that exercise leads to deceitful behavior.
←Rate | 01-15-2013 06:43 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time on FB, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never seen a Twilight movie.......
←Rate | 11-18-2011 08:57 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon I blame Subway!! The kids had a better chance of outrunning Jared when he was fat......
←Rate | 07-07-2015 18:41 by Sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Reminder - Valentine's Day is only a couple weeks away, it's not too late to break up..........
←Rate | 01-23-2012 21:32 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hurricane Survival Pro Tip #2: If your neighbor is a jerk, point your patio umbrella at their windows. See what happens in 80mph winds......
←Rate | 10-27-2012 12:36 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gonna be honest here since the world is ending: "Sailing" by Christopher Cross makes me emotional.
←Rate | 12-20-2012 18:33 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish we could all legally divorce Kim Kardashian......
←Rate | 10-31-2011 14:33 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon RIP Macho Man. He must of had an early boarding pass for the rapture. You will be missed......
←Rate | 05-20-2011 13:24 by Sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon If the Government shuts down who will spy on me?
←Rate | 09-28-2013 09:43 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ever notice that the douchebag who says "See you next year!" on New Years Eve is always someone you wouldn't mind not seeing for the entire year?.......
←Rate | 12-31-2011 07:37 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why don't they give hurricanes epic names like cyclone of doom or the fate fairy instead of frikken Sandy.....
←Rate | 10-27-2012 09:43 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just dropped $2 somewhere under the passenger seat in my car, so I guess I have a savings account now.
←Rate | 10-16-2013 22:21 by sully Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am having debate withdrawal....So I'm heading to 7-11 now to spar with clerk about gas prices and Iranian sanctions.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 21:11 by sully Comments (0)  

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