Funny Status Messages Search

X I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 8 or 9 times, just to be sure.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-18-2012 20:22 by snotty Comments (0)

X Dear friends, I could make a chemistry joke... but all the good ones argon.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-11-2012 18:07 by snotty Comments (0)

X I just saw a huge and very intricate spider web, but no spider. This foreclosure crisis is really getting out of hand

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-18-2012 08:02 by snotty Comments (0)

X They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-18-2012 08:06 by snotty Comments (0)

X I don't think dogs like giving high fives as much as we think they do.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2012 08:12 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm playing the "Tetris" background music in my head when I load the dishwasher,,,,, Awesome

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2012 08:20 by snotty Comments (0)

X I wonder if Captain America ever borrows money from Captain China

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-23-2012 16:14 by snotty Comments (0)

X The C.D.C. says that more people die every year from Diarrhea than heart attacks??? That's NOT good news for me and my family because Diarrhea runs in my "genes",,,No really,, I've got Diarrhea in my "genes" right now

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-23-2012 16:45 by snotty Comments (0)

X ■Does anyone else realize that in about 40 years, we'll have a million of old ladies shuffling around with tattoos?........ ( all I can say is ,,Ha,Ha,! )

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-24-2012 07:01 by snotty Comments (0)

X Laughter is the Best,,,,,,,,, Way to get the judge to reduce your sentence..☺

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2012 14:56 by snotty Comments (0)

X is I can't remember the last time I had amnesia this bad.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-26-2012 19:53 by snotty Comments (0)

X It's really sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2012 09:00 by snotty Comments (0)

X Guess what YouTube,,, I will ALWAYS,, “Skip this ad.”

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2012 11:23 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm thinking when they say,, "Instant Credit",, I think they really mean,, "Instant Debt".

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2012 11:30 by snotty Comments (0)

X The love of Money is the root of all evil.. For more information,,,, send $20 to me.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-29-2012 07:19 by snotty Comments (0)

X Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 42,337 times,, and you are a weather man.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-29-2012 07:21 by snotty Comments (0)

X I no longer wish to share this nation's roads and highways with others.. Sorry for your inconvenience.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-29-2012 07:22 by snotty Comments (0)

X My wife dropped her purse and now my balls hurt.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2012 08:52 by snotty Comments (0)

X I just saw what looked like a menstruating raccoon "Planking" while a crow scratched her back,,,, How cute!! I should take a picture..

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2012 09:00 by snotty Comments (0)

X I just read a list of “100 things to do before you die”. And, I've got to say,, I'm pretty surprised that “yell for help” wasn't one of them.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-02-2012 11:17 by snotty Comments (0)