markf Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:31 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:00 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why someone would put down their needle anywhere near a haystack.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 07:58 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon sure now that after Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) was just announced as the youngest billionaire on Forbe's list, his mom doesn't tell him he's spending too much time on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 09:44 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 09:03 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:29 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 10:04 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking that Venti must be the Italian word for "you just paid an insane amount of money for a cup of coffee."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:43 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 07:32 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon Think I will use this CSV receipt to wrap up like a mummy for Halloween. BONUS: You can scan me for $1 off any 2 liter drink
←Rate | 09-28-2017 21:42 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I live to be 100, I will just make up a reason when people ask how. "I eat acorns every day."
←Rate | 10-02-2017 19:00 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon How do dragons blow out candles on their birthday cake?
←Rate | 01-09-2018 17:58 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe they could add a little pop-up saying "Are you sure? This action cannot be undone" before sending an important message like NUCLEAR MISSILE ALERT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE
←Rate | 01-16-2018 20:43 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
←Rate | 01-24-2017 19:22 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon So let me get this straight -- somewhere a huge NSA data center is storing untold terabytes of data with text like "lol my cat just did a funny" and "u looking good gf"
←Rate | 01-17-2014 22:26 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon read that a new study indicates that 80% of children aged 0 to 5 are already exposed to some computer use. In response to show their concern, Apple Computer has announced the new iCrib to target the remaining 20%.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:24 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm concerned that America will lose the next time we are invaded because this generation will be too busy staring at their phones to notice.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 08:33 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon snuck his daughter's phone and changed his contact info to Batman. Now it's a little more exciting when she gets a text like 'get ready. picking you up in 5 mins.
←Rate | 03-22-2010 08:51 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon wearing his ninja shirt today. It has ninjas all over it, but most people just think it's a blank shirt.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 11:36 by markf Comments (0)  

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