g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My son just spoke his first words to me: 'Dad, where the f**k have you been the last 20 years?!' It was so cute.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon (on facebook) Friend 1: ugh, I feel so crap I hate my life. Friend 2: aww babe whats wrong??. Friend 1: inbox? Friend 2: yeah okay. Rest of us: well f*ck you then.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 20:18 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon People think i'm shy because I don't talk or participate much in conversations. The truth is I don't really give a f*ck what they're talking about.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 19:36 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have Big Boobs, I am amazing at Call of Duty, and I can make a really good sandwich, Unfortunately I am a guy...
←Rate | 10-10-2011 02:14 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon WOMAN'S LOGIC... Bikini: no problem Underwear and Bra: OMG!!! DONT LOOK!!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon please ignore this status, I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am textin
←Rate | 01-12-2012 20:43 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… Sounds like Santa's got a Facebook.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 21:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come rappers always brag about being criminals and committing crimes, but then whine like little babies when people illegally download their music. Dang hypocrites.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to photoshop my life Touch up the edges, adjust the tones,blur out the background, focus on me, and crop people out...
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone should invent a bra that plays music so girls can't complain that guys always stare at their boobs and never listen to them.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 02:37 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are some people on facebook who don't understand the difference between 'Whats on your mind?' And I should probably see a therapist about this'
←Rate | 10-26-2011 19:40 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy rule number 42: If it isn't on the first page of Google, it doesn't exist.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 21:56 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto people are always naming their kids after things they can't afford... Mercedes, Diamond, Pearl, Car Insurance.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you were in elementary school, looking up the word "sex" in the dictionary was like watching porn.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are the "other person" in a relationship and eventually get together, you have no reason to be angry if they cheat on you later.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 02:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was better back when you could look under a bottle cap and see you won instantly, rather than this entering a code online thing they have now. I want to look under the cap and see "YOU WON!" instead of ED34GH....
←Rate | 10-12-2011 22:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever noticed that Velma(from Scooby-Doo) only says who the bad guy is after she pulls off their mask. And then conveniently knew it was him or her all along.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a weird feeling when you can't remember if something happened in a dream or in real life.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:49 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the Super Size Me guy regrets not doing his McDonalds binge during the Monopoly promotion.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 20:13 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its a bit awkward when you don't realize how many curse words and sexual innuendos a song has in it until you're in the car listening to it with your parents.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:35 by g0re Comments (0)  



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