Tsparks Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money ain't got none.
←Rate | 02-01-2012 17:13 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 17:19 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women drivers are like stars in the sky. You can see them, but they can't see you.
←Rate | 04-13-2012 20:34 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he doesn't let you touch anything
←Rate | 02-02-2012 00:08 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon I fell down the stairs today, and may never walk again. I wasn't injured, I'm just really lazy.
←Rate | 05-08-2012 22:55 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pretty excited that the Patriots and the Giants are opening for Madonna at the Superbowl
←Rate | 02-05-2012 15:35 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Newly divorced woman explaining reason for splitting: We had religious differences - he thought he was God, I didn't.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 13:29 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Attitude like a underwear , don't show it , just wear it.
←Rate | 02-08-2012 01:07 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people ask for candy I'm eating, I give them the flavor I don't like.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 13:51 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw
←Rate | 11-16-2011 02:36 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it
←Rate | 02-08-2012 01:04 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't wait for Breaking Dawn Part 2, as Bella and Edward get hunted down by Blade! Perhaps that's just wishful thinking
←Rate | 02-24-2012 17:13 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I wait behind a door to scare someone, they always take too long to come, so I leave disappointed.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 13:48 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Success is like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own
←Rate | 06-13-2012 19:58 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon 2010: You're only cool if you have silly bands. 2011: Planking is the bomb! 2012: Let's go choke on cinnamon
←Rate | 02-23-2012 01:53 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Was that lightning?" Nooo... they're taking pictures for google earth
←Rate | 11-16-2011 13:49 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up
←Rate | 11-17-2011 02:35 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon always know where the remote is all it takes is one sad animal commercial to kill the mood
←Rate | 07-19-2012 23:03 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I'm strong because I know what it's like to be weak."
←Rate | 11-16-2011 02:55 by tsparks Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear ugly people: Stop playing hard to get, you're already hard to want
←Rate | 05-15-2012 18:46 by Tsparks Comments (0)  

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