Stevielea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My grandpa was so competitive that on his death bed, as he breathed his last, he said, "Staring contest......GO".
←Rate | 11-27-2018 11:17 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you visit someone with Alexa. "Alexa set 3am alarm with horror movie sounds."
←Rate | 02-12-2019 05:17 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon An average person farts 13 times a day......... finally!! I'm above average at something.
←Rate | 09-14-2018 07:03 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I remember about the midget that attacked me. Very little.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:23 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything in my 23 years on earth, it's that it's okay to lie about your age.
←Rate | 09-25-2018 13:29 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just because she weighed as much as 2 people, that doesn't mean you had a threesome."
←Rate | 08-31-2018 12:58 by Stevielea Comments (1)  


   messageicon I didn't go to the gym today,....but the cashier's name at Macdonald's was Jim...sooo same thing.
←Rate | 09-04-2018 13:55 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now if you will excuse me, today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves.
←Rate | 08-22-2018 18:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm afraid if I start working out, I'll be too sexy.
←Rate | 09-09-2018 03:18 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION!!! Heavy rain is on the forecast this week, please use permanent markers for your eyebrows.
←Rate | 09-23-2018 13:05 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon FOUR STAGES OF A MANS LIFE : 1. You believe in santa. 2. You don't believe in santa. 3. You are santa. 4. You look like santa.
←Rate | 12-14-2018 16:23 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep the earth clean! It isn't Uranus!
←Rate | 09-04-2018 03:10 by Stevielea Comments (1)  


   messageicon My friend hates it when I put his chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. He gets his snickers in a twix.
←Rate | 11-27-2018 11:31 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a child is like having a little broke ass best friend!
←Rate | 10-17-2018 13:37 by Stevielea Comments (1)  


   messageicon "you da bomb" - " No you da bomb" In America - a compliment. In the middle East - an argument.
←Rate | 01-21-2019 11:30 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon He wiped away her tears and accidentally her eyebrows too!
←Rate | 09-17-2018 17:49 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "what's wrong ahmed, won't it start."
←Rate | 08-27-2018 17:53 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trick your friends into thinking you are a professional tennis player By wiping your face with a towel every 30 seconds And throwing it at a child.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 07:35 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas prices are so expensive...it would be cheaper to buy cocaine and run everywhere!
←Rate | 08-27-2018 05:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm ever on life support, unplug me..... then plug me back in. See if that works.
←Rate | 09-21-2018 11:17 by Stevielea Comments (0)  




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