Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep
←Rate | 08-09-2012 18:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Day 12.. I haven't eaten apple in a week,, the doctors are slowly getting thru the barricade, I won't last very long, tell my family I love em
←Rate | 04-21-2015 21:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Frosted Mini Wheats" are my absolute FAVORITE breakfast cereal made from scrap wicker furniture.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 08:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
←Rate | 09-24-2015 06:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
←Rate | 08-01-2013 07:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes,,, The bathrooms by the pool are a nice touch but completely unnecessary.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor is getting REALLY tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 10:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
←Rate | 11-05-2013 13:02 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon Balloons are so much more expensive than when I was a kid... Probably due to,,,,, you know,, inflation.
←Rate | 12-11-2016 19:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?.. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?
←Rate | 09-05-2016 15:50 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Molasses is surprisingly tasty,,,, However, I have to admit,,, I have never actually tried any other parts of a mole yet,,so,,,,,,
←Rate | 12-13-2011 13:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math Problem: If Matt has 16 oz of coffee and loses 4 oz at each of 5 speed bumps going into work, how many seconds until Matt kills everyone?
←Rate | 03-21-2012 20:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winning a fight with your wife, is like winning a vacation to Detroit... Don't get too excited
←Rate | 05-25-2015 17:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon We are so fortunate not to live in China,,, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
←Rate | 03-26-2013 22:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 42,337 times,, and you are a weather man.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 07:21 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you even imagine how long the Carfax report is on the Batmobile
←Rate | 10-12-2013 14:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn,, went to 2 Birthday parties,, ran 6 miles,, then told a BUNCH of lies on Facebook.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 13:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's now a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Doritos?,, Hmmm, It seems that our junk foods have started hunting each other.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 17:11 by snotty Comments (0)  



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