SEAN Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'SEAN': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 38

   messageicon Divorce---When being wrong every day for being alive isn't working for you.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 17:03 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people see me at the super market & the're like "Hey what you doing here?" & I'm just like "Oh you know hunting zebras"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 10:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they keep the name Redskins, but change the mascot to a potato....
←Rate | 10-16-2013 10:04 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of chocolate covered toothpaste.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like "the light is red!" and "don't text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest part of gift buying is convincing yourself you don't deserve the gift more than the person you're buying it for.
←Rate | 05-06-2013 14:03 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs..."Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"
←Rate | 02-08-2012 15:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I said make yourself at home I meant go wash my dishes.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 11:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where's my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I'm here! Under your jacket!"
←Rate | 01-30-2012 10:33 by SEAN Comments (1)  


   messageicon 7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 17:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, don't wear skinny jeans if you have a big head. You look like a Pez dispenser.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 16:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. #fail
←Rate | 02-17-2012 09:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon How in the world did Bill & Hillary Clinton avoid the celebrity nickname HillBilly? WE DROPPED THE BALL AMERICA.
←Rate | 03-19-2012 17:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop with a drug sniffing dog said to me "This dog tells me you're on drugs." I said "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put suicide notes next to roadkill so their animal families have some closure.
←Rate | 06-13-2012 08:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
←Rate | 08-14-2012 15:46 by SEAN Comments (1)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left