Mark Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I want to start a women's magazine called "Period". And some months I'll send it out late just to freak out my subscribers.
←Rate | 09-05-2012 18:33 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Due to slow sales, Apple CEO Tim Cook has been given a 15 percent pay cut. Or as Cook is spinning it, he’s coming out with a thinner more lightweight wallet.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 21:02 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know things are tough when my retirement plan consist of playing the lottery :(
←Rate | 09-29-2010 09:53 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't have a microwave oven but he does have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff
←Rate | 03-26-2009 22:52 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Beach Boys reunited at the Grammys. They're headed out on tour for their 50th anniversary. Now when they sing about surfing, they mean surfing the Internet for discounted prostate medication.
←Rate | 02-15-2012 13:58 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon The president announced his bracket for the NCAA tournament. March Madness and Obama is predicting Michigan State will beat Louisville to win the national championship. Going by Obama's past predictions, I want to congratulate Louisville on their big wi
←Rate | 03-20-2014 20:45 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Researchers in China have developed these things called “smart tags” that stick to containers and change color when food has gone bad. That's in addition to that other thing that changes color when food goes bad — food.
←Rate | 03-19-2014 14:06 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
←Rate | 03-26-2011 17:29 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rapture "I'm going out the way I came in, without pants.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 07:02 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon According to a recent survey just released this week, one-third of all mall Santa Claus' have had a child urinate in their lap. Even worse, the other two-thirds have urinated in their own laps.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 16:14 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why did Facebook go public? Couldn't they figure out the privacy settings either?
←Rate | 05-19-2012 11:53 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon I will never understand deer....napping beside the highway. Very dangerous!
←Rate | 09-23-2012 22:21 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Biden's teeth were so white last night, they're voting for Romney.
←Rate | 10-12-2012 07:32 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook should have a limit on how many times you change ure relationship status, after 3 in a year it should auto-default to "unstable"
←Rate | 12-05-2011 17:31 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just trying to see who reads my post. Describe me using only your Facebook password....
←Rate | 02-28-2012 19:22 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time you even ran into a Mayan?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 12:11 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never knew Charlie Sheen drank, until I saw him sober once.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 22:24 by Mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, when I said I wanted something blingy around my neck.... STREP THROAT is NOT what I had in mind :/
←Rate | 12-21-2011 04:22 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon I need you guys to vouch for me. I accidentally spelled Satan instead of Santa in Christmas lights and my neighbors house and now they are convinced that my star of Bethlehem is a pentagram......:/
←Rate | 12-12-2011 16:03 by mark Comments (0)  

   messageicon Valentine's gift ❒Electric Tooth Brush ❒ Electric Blanket ✔ Electric Chair
←Rate | 02-03-2012 09:22 by Mark Comments (0)  

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