Joker Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough, that's why we have two hands.
←Rate | 02-03-2019 14:56 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother in-law is so ugly, even a boiling tea kettle won't give her a whistle.
←Rate | 01-14-2019 17:23 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cemeteery has raised its burial cost. They're blaming the cost of living.
←Rate | 01-06-2019 14:07 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't rise and shine, the best I can do is get up and gripe.
←Rate | 01-16-2019 14:14 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never laugh at your wife's choices. You're one of them.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 23:06 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm grilling a stake, the smell of the juices makes my mouth water. Wonder if that happens when a vegan mows their lawn.
←Rate | 01-19-2019 06:56 by Joker Comments (3)  


   messageicon Silence is golden. Unless you have teenagers. Then it becomes suspicious.
←Rate | 01-19-2019 06:59 by Joker Comments (1)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's day, then the side chick is you.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 17:10 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
←Rate | 01-27-2019 13:28 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got my ancestry DNA results back. It seems I related to Adam and Eve.
←Rate | 01-13-2019 16:35 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breast are proof that men can concentrate on two things at the same time.
←Rate | 01-28-2019 18:15 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may need a helping hand with my New Year's resolution in giving up masterbating.
←Rate | 01-03-2019 03:20 by Joker Comments (1)  


   messageicon They say a man's "member" can be gauged by the size of their feet. That maybe why my sister dates clowns.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 19:49 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother inlaw standing in front of a mirror: "I feel fat and ugly." . Me to make her feel better: "Well at lease your eye sight is good."
←Rate | 01-24-2019 14:17 by Joker Comments (2)  


   messageicon If a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.50 a minute.
←Rate | 01-03-2019 02:54 by Joker Comments (2)  


   messageicon You can tell the sex of an ant by tossing it in some water. If it sinks, it' a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant.
←Rate | 01-08-2019 19:45 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good husband remembers his wife's birthday, but not her age.
←Rate | 01-03-2019 02:56 by Joker Comments (1)  


   messageicon My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.
←Rate | 01-03-2019 02:48 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of Valentine's day, is the next days 50% off sale on the box chocolate candy.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 17:14 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon All this beer drinking I do gives me a hangover. It's really noticeable when I stand sideways.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 13:44 by Joker Comments (0)  




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