JEBI Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've single handedly defeated my erection...
←Rate | 11-10-2012 14:03 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon There... crazy glued quarters to the ground in front of the vending machine at work...let the fun begin....
←Rate | 11-29-2012 10:28 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend said to me, "you should start drinking Ensure" and I said, "if I'm going replace a meal with a beverage its going to be beer..."
←Rate | 05-31-2013 12:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kate Middleton goes into labor, the doctor will say "the baby is crowning!" And they'll laugh and laugh...
←Rate | 02-28-2013 12:57 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment...
←Rate | 06-03-2013 15:24 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being honest may not get you alot of friends but it does get you the right ones...
←Rate | 10-15-2013 13:22 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, walking up behind a hot guy in the produce aisle with celery in my hand and whispering "I'm stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 09:04 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar...
←Rate | 05-14-2014 10:08 by JEBI Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...
←Rate | 03-13-2015 18:45 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smile is way better than a duck face...
←Rate | 05-31-2013 12:32 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a USB drive on my keys so that if I'm ever dying in public I can hand it to a stranger and shout "Get this to the President before.."
←Rate | 04-30-2013 11:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes...
←Rate | 12-11-2012 08:47 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt...
←Rate | 02-24-2015 06:53 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon China's "one-child per family" policy is being ended -- because not enough babies. Apparently it's so bad over there that some factories are actually hiring adults...
←Rate | 11-06-2012 12:09 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year...
←Rate | 02-09-2015 12:58 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going on a vodka diet. Apparently you can lose 3 days in one week...
←Rate | 02-01-2013 10:51 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn't going according to plan...
←Rate | 05-09-2014 11:11 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my life had a soundtrack it would be the sound of a rusty gate slowly closing and then falling off its hinges onto a bunch of ugly cats...
←Rate | 05-14-2014 10:07 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Props to our cat for getting excited about eating the same food EVERYDAY!
←Rate | 12-14-2012 11:27 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again...
←Rate | 05-12-2014 15:16 by JEBI Comments (0)  



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