Downey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Ask me about our "blowj*bs for drinks program"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:29 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon 3 man code violations to report this week..1) seen a guy drinkin a can a diet pepsi with a straw 2) heard that two guys rode to work together on the same motorcycle 3) seen a guy driving a mini van with a doo rag on
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:36 by Downey Comments (1)  

   messageicon Nothing says "I have no life," quite like people who listen to Nascar on the radio.
←Rate | 08-07-2011 23:09 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon If David Hasselhoff doesn't describe his workouts as "sweating his asseloff," well then screw him!
←Rate | 04-28-2012 10:24 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I recently started to grow a beard, and I gotta tell ya... I feel way cooler already
←Rate | 02-20-2011 22:11 by downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon In my house, relationships go sour before a gallon of milk does...
←Rate | 09-01-2011 19:10 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gonna get a softball team going and name ourselves "off constantly". That way if we lose a game, we could still have the satisfaction of listening our opponents try to brag about beating off constantly..
←Rate | 04-03-2011 10:05 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not sure who told bald guys they were required to have goatees, but they all fell for it.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 00:22 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Tiger Woods and Jesse James are back to dating already, then I don't see any reason why Michael Vick can't get another puppy.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 01:13 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I watch truTV and CSI so much that I even wipe my fingerprints off the remote after I turn off the TV.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 03:10 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can let the fact that she owns a cat long as it's never been used as her profile pic.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 19:13 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Football season is a lot like my se(x) life....except for I actually care when football season is coming.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 19:17 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon my phone automatically wants to check me into every bar we pass? I guess this think really is a smartphone
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:27 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Got a flannel shirt for the 9th Fathers Day in a row... Thanks honey, cant wait to see what you get me next year!
←Rate | 06-19-2011 14:57 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..that WINNING but than instant LOSER feeling you get when a girl sends you a sexy pic, and you look at the message details only to find that their are 9 other numbers above yours...awkward...
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:29 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon whats the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered womens shelter? The dishes if she knows what good for her!
←Rate | 02-20-2011 09:30 by downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon the fact that I can order Domino's in my underwear without leaving my bed has proven how far technology has really came.... and how fuc%in' lazy I have also became.
←Rate | 05-17-2012 18:16 by Downey Comments (0)  


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