Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Whenever I see a lone female jogging at night I follow her in my car from a noticable distance because there are a lot of weirdos out there.
←Rate | 12-13-2012 12:50 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday my wife caught me checking out our hot new neighbor and all she had to say to me was, “It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home".
←Rate | 02-08-2012 07:22 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so terrible at Chess. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 10:11 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I'm going to the liquor store and I'm afraid it may be closed.
←Rate | 09-18-2012 04:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Denial (n.) Balding men with ponytails.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 09:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn't sing it out loud in public.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 05:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is full of possibilities and I have a strong feeling none of them are mine.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 12:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your religion is worth killing for, then do us all a favour and start with yourself.
←Rate | 09-15-2012 12:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison
←Rate | 11-17-2013 13:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Repeat after me: It doesn't matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won't solve it.
←Rate | 09-24-2013 02:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with a sense of humor are so much easier to talk to and get along with.
←Rate | 10-24-2012 02:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know, if on a full moon if you light a candle and say the name of someone you love 3 times, you'll look stupid doing that?
←Rate | 01-08-2012 05:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
←Rate | 01-11-2012 23:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a bird crap on a Smart car. Totaled it.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 01:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.
←Rate | 03-28-2016 11:31 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, set them free. If they come back knocking on your door with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 13:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye and Kim finally break up - does that automatically put her back on the Black market? Asking for Lil Wayne.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 11:51 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get hoarders addicted to crack, they will sell all their s hit..Problem solved.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 11:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 14:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The embarrassing moment when you accept a compliment that wasn't meant for you.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 05:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  



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