Baddie Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Baddie': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 88

   messageicon I hope tonight's the night when we'll finally see a presidential candidate make the jerk-off motion while the other candidate is speaking.
←Rate | 09-26-2016 14:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
←Rate | 06-30-2014 01:48 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:26 by Baddie Comments (2)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I'm behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
←Rate | 08-23-2014 09:43 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't ask me stupid questions and I won't hurt your stupid feelings.
←Rate | 10-27-2012 15:51 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
←Rate | 09-13-2013 13:17 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your bellybutton jewelry touches the person you’re hugging before you do…you shouldn’t have bellybutton jewelry.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 12:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
←Rate | 08-30-2014 11:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone's ok with that.
←Rate | 09-02-2014 13:35 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being 'clean and sober' means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 13:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think your child is annoying, imagine what I think.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 08:17 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can't eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
←Rate | 10-06-2014 02:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep an extra condom in your wallet, you'll never know when you have to shut her kids up with a balloon dog.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 15:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't know this but right after you leave the restaurant with your crying baby the rest of us applaud.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 15:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new girlfriend said a small d*ck shouldn't be a problem as long as we truly love each other. This was right before she showed it to me.
←Rate | 07-27-2013 14:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents.
←Rate | 07-27-2013 13:33 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being white has its disadvantages too, you know. It can be super hard to find a rap song on iTunes when you spell all the words correctly.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 12:36 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."
←Rate | 09-05-2013 12:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see your swag and I raise you a high school education.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 15:00 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just gave my girlfriend my two week notice.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 14:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left