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Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 2 of 87
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
86
15
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09-06-2013 14:38 by
Baddie
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0
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I don't want to brag, but I'm single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
103
18
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05-11-2013 09:45 by
Baddie
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0
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So when is this 'old enough to know better' suppose to kick in ?
80
14
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10-18-2012 13:15 by
Baddie
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0
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I hope tonight's the night when we'll finally see a presidential candidate make the jerk-off motion while the other candidate is speaking.
40
7
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09-26-2016 14:39 by
Baddie
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0
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Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
114
20
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06-30-2014 01:48 by
Baddie
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0
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My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch.
131
23
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06-04-2013 01:26 by
Baddie
Comments (
2
)
Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
91
16
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04-04-2014 14:42 by
Baddie
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0
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Nothing says "I'm behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
108
19
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08-23-2014 09:43 by
Baddie
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0
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Don't ask me stupid questions and I won't hurt your stupid feelings.
85
15
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10-27-2012 15:51 by
Baddie
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0
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You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
68
12
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09-13-2013 13:17 by
Baddie
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0
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I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
51
9
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08-30-2014 11:47 by
Baddie
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0
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I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone's ok with that.
51
9
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09-02-2014 13:35 by
Baddie
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0
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If your bellybutton jewelry touches the person you’re hugging before you do…you shouldn’t have bellybutton jewelry.
51
9
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11-27-2013 12:03 by
Baddie
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0
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Being 'clean and sober' means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store.
51
9
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03-18-2014 13:47 by
Baddie
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0
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If you think your child is annoying, imagine what I think.
51
9
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12-27-2012 08:17 by
Baddie
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0
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Keep an extra condom in your wallet, you'll never know when you have to shut her kids up with a balloon dog.
34
6
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09-29-2012 15:23 by
Baddie
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0
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Being white has its disadvantages too, you know. It can be super hard to find a rap song on iTunes when you spell all the words correctly.
283
50
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07-16-2013 12:36 by
Baddie
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0
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You don't know this but right after you leave the restaurant with your crying baby the rest of us applaud.
130
23
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05-14-2012 15:11 by
Baddie
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0
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My new girlfriend said a small d*ck shouldn't be a problem as long as we truly love each other. This was right before she showed it to me.
130
23
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07-27-2013 14:05 by
Baddie
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0
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A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents.
79
14
←Rate |
07-27-2013 13:33 by
Baddie
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0
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