Funny Status Messages Search

X says When playing Modern Warfare 3 video game, is the menu suppose to…okay, I guess by now the girls have stopped reading. So fellas, any of you out there get nervous when make up sex starts with a BJ?

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-28-2012 07:41 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Fellas: She exercises with a Shake Weight to perfect her hand job, marry her

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-28-2012 07:43 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-29-2012 14:47 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, but I think they forgot to mention Morons.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-06-2012 09:55 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Bros over Hoes! ...Unless she's not a hoe.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-07-2012 14:19 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says GRAMMAR: The difference between knowing YOUR sh!t and knowing YOU'RE sh!t.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-16-2012 13:10 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says My wife is always walking into things and getting hurt. Yesterday it was our bedroom while I was shagging her sister.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-19-2012 10:32 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says God should have made stupidity painful.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2012 11:27 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Religion- The longest game of Simon says ever.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2012 12:01 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says We all know someone who breathes way too damn loud.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2012 12:13 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Everyone deserves one free kill in life.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2012 10:11 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says I hate it when strangers say silly things like, "I don't bite" Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet someone is "OMG! This b!tch is gonna bite me!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2012 10:14 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says When a midget smokes weed does he get high? Or medium?

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-26-2012 06:44 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says You are so ugly...as a kid, pedophiles used to give you candy to get out of the van.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2012 09:32 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says The extra muscles it takes to smile after losing an Oscar is such a workout it keeps the actors thin for the whole next year!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2012 09:49 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Son: Where did I come from daddy? Dad: Your Mother Son: Where did she come from? Dad: THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2012 13:33 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says What is it about waking up that babies find so traumatic?

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-03-2012 13:38 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Angelina Jolie is so malnourished, that Madonna is going to adopt her.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 13:24 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says My GF's an adult film actress .She's going to be furious when she finds out!

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 13:25 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says What kind of children go to heaven? Dead ones.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-06-2012 13:29 by Baddie Comments (0)