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X says When playing Modern Warfare 3 video game, is the menu suppose to…okay, I guess by now the girls have stopped reading. So fellas, any of you out there get nervous when make up sex starts with a BJ?
X says Fellas: She exercises with a Shake Weight to perfect her hand job, marry her
X says My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.
X says Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, but I think they forgot to mention Morons.
X says Bros over Hoes! ...Unless she's not a hoe.
X says GRAMMAR: The difference between knowing YOUR sh!t and knowing YOU'RE sh!t.
X says My wife is always walking into things and getting hurt. Yesterday it was our bedroom while I was shagging her sister.
X says God should have made stupidity painful.
X says Religion- The longest game of Simon says ever.
X says We all know someone who breathes way too damn loud.
X says Everyone deserves one free kill in life.
X says I hate it when strangers say silly things like, "I don't bite" Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet someone is "OMG! This b!tch is gonna bite me!"
X says When a midget smokes weed does he get high? Or medium?
X says You are so ugly...as a kid, pedophiles used to give you candy to get out of the van.
X says The extra muscles it takes to smile after losing an Oscar is such a workout it keeps the actors thin for the whole next year!
X says Son: Where did I come from daddy? Dad: Your Mother Son: Where did she come from? Dad: THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!!
X says What is it about waking up that babies find so traumatic?
X says Angelina Jolie is so malnourished, that Madonna is going to adopt her.
X says My GF's an adult film actress .She's going to be furious when she finds out!
X says What kind of children go to heaven? Dead ones.