Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Happy Birthday to the Greatest Invention you don't appreciate enough unless you don't have it! On this day 110yrs ago Dr. Kerry invented the Air Conditioner!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 08:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (3)  


   messageicon It is a scientific fact that the gravatational pull of a woman's cleavage on a man's eyes is too strong to be fought!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 08:35 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have no respect for today's gangs! They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days, like in ''West Side Story'', the gangs used to dance with eachother first!!
←Rate | 07-06-2012 07:54 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please be patient! Even a toilet can only handle one A$$hole at a time!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 05:44 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, that's correct!.....And the Horse you rode in on!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 15:28 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a guys says ''I can't feel anything wearing trhis condom!'' Ask him if he can feel you sucking the money out of his paycheck for trhe next 18 years!!!''
←Rate | 07-17-2012 08:17 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon One Day I hope I can afford an iphone like that girl in line infront of me with the food stamps!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 13:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sherman Hemsley(George Jeferson) has passed on! In his own words he would probably say ''Somehow a Honky is behind this!!!''
←Rate | 07-24-2012 16:34 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took my Cat and her six kittens to the Vet to get them spayed and neutered! The Vet asked ''Is the momma cat friendly?'' I said ''Well....Duh, How do you think we got in this mess in the first place!!!''
←Rate | 07-08-2012 09:53 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 09:27 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember whatever you put up with you end up with!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 12:48 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day! Teach a man to fish and he will go out and purchase expensive fishing gear, stupid looking clothes,a sports utility vehicle,travel 1000 miles to a lake,to stand waist high to catch 2 fish!
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:45 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well I had close call lastnight! This girl I picked up at the bar, drove me back to her place. She looked like a lady, walked like a lady, even talked like a lady! But when she whipped into that parking spot perfectly.....I was like hold on somethings up!
←Rate | 06-29-2012 10:53 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2012 07:02 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ''Just kill me already!!!''
←Rate | 07-11-2012 09:06 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''Hey, How was your Blind date?'' ''Terrible! He showed up in a 1932 Rolls Royce!''......''What's so terrible about that?''.....''He was the original owner!!!''
←Rate | 07-06-2012 08:25 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ignored your Facebook Friend Request only because there isn't a ''Oh Hell No!'' Button!!!
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:48 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon A person automatically becomes ten times more attractive when you find out they like you!!!
←Rate | 07-26-2012 07:04 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The key to a long and good relationship is to keep the fights clean, and the sex dirty!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 20:47 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never in my life have I ever seen someone so excited to take a sh!t!----Those Bears in the Charmin commercial
←Rate | 07-25-2012 07:50 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  




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