jitney Funny Status Messages

   OMG.......If you go on Google's page, the Google loggo is blackout. The too buttons that are left is "Google Search", and "I'm feeling lucky". Unfortunately my project is due and I'm not so lucky. yeesh(-__-)

   People get FAKE, when ish gets REAL.

   I know it Halloween and stuff, but A white bronco just pulled up and threw out 2 bodies and then sped off really fast.....(Ö_Ö) on the lawn

   Who else proofread something after they posted? Oh so I'm the only one......

   If a baby comes out with an Afro, is that considered Natural child birth?

   I can't win for nothing! Parent just told me I need to eat cause I'm getting to skinny. This was the same parent that told me 2 yrs ago I was fat and stop eating!

   "Im not sure if I actually have some free time on my hands, or if I'm just forgetting to come up with a really good posst?

   It's funny how once you dislike the personality/actions of one of your co-workers, EVERYTHING They do gets on your nerves/offends you . “Look at this dummy, eating those crackers & drinking coffee like she owns the place! Uggghh"

   When asked, "What is the best way to end an arguement with your wife" , I usually say a Hit & Run! She'll never see it coming!

   Don't you hate it when Ur girl or wife ask you life questions while you watching a important game # biiioootch ask Steve Harvey

   My daughter is having a modern day wedding, no church... it is 2015...Break tradition. So the wedding will at a museum...

   Hey would any of you would like to marry me for a minute? Better yet can all of you marry me? I wanna see if I can have multiple wifes on FB...

   Just heard two fat b*** tches fighting over a seat on the bus. one 60yrs, standing the other with kids sitting down. It wasnt annoying until I realized they was both fighting and screamin at each other for the section with the handicap seat! Thx Obamacare

   I was going to pirate and record the Expendables 2, movie, but I fear Chhhhhuuuccckkk Norrrris was there

   I hate it when random people calls me up and asks, "Did I call the right #?" ........"No buddy, you called the Left one!"

   1million bucks from the new fantasy game doesn't go far. gas alone gonna take half when you buy any car.

   Hey broncos, puff puff pass time in the second half!..... Meanwhile at the Seahawks side...Sherman-"you know how I get when I get da munchies!

   For those girls who aint shaved.......I'm perfecting a new perfume called "Forever Alone".... It smells like Carnival Cruise Line on Fire!

   Easter Eggs are themselves when I tell them Chuk Norrris says "Hi"!

   I wish you could Google anything. Liikke, "Where the F you ck is my phone?" and it would be lliikke, "It's under the couch dumbass......lol good night peeps!!!!!