bego Funny Status Messages
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I am pretty pissed that the NSA is monitoring 75% of our Internet traffic, and yet still hasnt responded to my invitation to Candy Crush.
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08-30-2013 23:57 by BEGO
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Im the type of person who enjoys making people: cringe, blush, and shake their head when reading my status!
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12-28-2011 19:49 by BEGO
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Oh you got "Swag"? I bet that looks great on your application to McDonald's.
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05-24-2012 20:58 by BEGO
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Why, when our heart is stolen, do we insist on returning to the scene of the crime?
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05-27-2012 22:24 by BEGO
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That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone's status.
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10-05-2011 21:23 by BEGO
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My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.
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05-08-2011 23:48 by BEGO
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Imagine surviving Covid19 then China releases Covid19S Plus Pro
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04-07-2020 19:53 by BEGO
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What doesn't kill you, leaves you alive for something else that will.
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09-14-2012 21:24 by BEGO
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Dear public bathrooms, Toilet paper holders should turn loosely, nobody wants to wipe their a$s with a handful of confetti.
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05-05-2012 22:45 by BEGO
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Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
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05-24-2013 21:45 by BEGO
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Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
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04-19-2012 21:07 by BEGO
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Sharing a Facebook account with your gf/wife is the best way to let everyone know how whipped you are.
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06-12-2012 22:08 by BEGO
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Taking back your EX is like buying your shi$ back from your own garage sale..
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05-26-2013 23:56 by BEGO
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The only people who truly know your story, are the ones that helped you write it.
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04-08-2012 21:46 by BEGO
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Over time you start noticing that some people just aren't worth it anymore.
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09-13-2012 21:43 by BEGO
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Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night."
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05-18-2011 22:02 by BEGO
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Dear Phone, Maybe if you didn`t light up so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn`t have died so damn quickly!
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07-31-2011 22:06 by BEGO
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How to scare burglars off. First, put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second, put a cat litter box in your hall and sh$t in it.
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03-02-2012 21:22 by BEGO
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Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.
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05-02-2012 21:12 by BEGO
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You know your a$s is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo.
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05-14-2012 21:03 by BEGO
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