bego Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I am pretty pissed that the NSA is monitoring 75% of our Internet traffic, and yet still hasnt responded to my invitation to Candy Crush.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 23:57 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im the type of person who enjoys making people: cringe, blush, and shake their head when reading my status!
←Rate | 12-28-2011 19:49 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh you got "Swag"? I bet that looks great on your application to McDonald's.
←Rate | 05-24-2012 20:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why, when our heart is stolen, do we insist on returning to the scene of the crime?
←Rate | 05-27-2012 22:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone's status.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 21:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine surviving Covid19 then China releases Covid19S Plus Pro
←Rate | 04-07-2020 19:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon What doesn't kill you, leaves you alive for something else that will.
←Rate | 09-14-2012 21:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear public bathrooms, Toilet paper holders should turn loosely, nobody wants to wipe their a$s with a handful of confetti.
←Rate | 05-05-2012 22:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
←Rate | 05-24-2013 21:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
←Rate | 04-19-2012 21:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sharing a Facebook account with your gf/wife is the best way to let everyone know how whipped you are.
←Rate | 06-12-2012 22:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking back your EX is like buying your shi$ back from your own garage sale..
←Rate | 05-26-2013 23:56 by BEGO Comments (4)  


   messageicon The only people who truly know your story, are the ones that helped you write it.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 21:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Over time you start noticing that some people just aren't worth it anymore.
←Rate | 09-13-2012 21:43 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night."
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:02 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Phone, Maybe if you didn`t light up so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn`t have died so damn quickly!
←Rate | 07-31-2011 22:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to scare burglars off. First, put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second, put a cat litter box in your hall and sh$t in it.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 21:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 21:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your a$s is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 21:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  




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