Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 19 of 6370
The best zoom calls are the ones where a pet makes a cameo like Stan Lee in one of the Marvel movies.
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07-03-2022 06:37
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Every few years, you reevaluate your concept of old. đ
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01-24-2023 00:18
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Fake laughing with customers is actually a skill and we should be allowed to add that to our resumes.
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01-18-2023 01:12
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I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend until death your right to say it.
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07-03-2022 06:40
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Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, youâre drunk.
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05-08-2022 20:37
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it, stick a needle in everyone or my body my choice? Pick one.
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05-15-2022 02:46
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Life is too short to die a coward.
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05-17-2022 06:06
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Trying to figure out how I spent 15k on chicken nuggets this year.
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05-19-2022 07:27
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Donât you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
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05-21-2022 03:36
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Her: If you want me to break social distancing rules, it better be worth it. Him: I will use your coochie like an N95 mask.
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05-26-2022 06:06
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Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.
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06-03-2022 02:55
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Him: you are my drug. Her: aww⌠you canât live without me? Him: No, youâre expensive and you ruin my life.
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06-08-2022 20:29
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When you try to swallow a pill, but it doesnât go down and now itâs dissolving in your mouth.
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06-08-2022 20:45
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Guy 1: How do you like my secret fishing spot? Guy 2: Itâs really cool, not even the fish know about it.
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06-10-2022 01:44
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âWe need to change Washington DC from the inside.â Me: I say we blast off and nuke the entire site from orbit.
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06-11-2022 01:44
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Lifeâs greatest tragedy is that we grow old too soon, and wise too late.
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06-13-2022 02:46
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Her: Wtf? You barely lasted two minutes! Him: It was âDoggy Style.â So thatâs like 14 minutes.
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06-15-2022 01:33
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64 year old man: Making love to a younger woman may be fatalâŚ. But if she dies, she dies.
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06-15-2022 01:41
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IQ Test: To see results, enter your credit card number.
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06-15-2022 01:42
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How would you describe college? Iâm teaching myself a class that Iâm paying for.
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06-16-2022 03:19
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