Eddy Funny Status Messages

   Lasik surgery is at least $500 to just fix an eye....on wheel of fortune I can buy the I for half that price

   if this 2nd stimulus goes through, I want this payment in pennies so I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck

   i get the feeling that if Herman Cain gets elected, he's gonna call Congress "the cracker box"...a building full of white ppl or "crackers"

   it's a little ironic when a gay guy gets drafted to the Rams....im sure he does a lot of ramming

   my dyslexic neighbor keeps looking for his god

   a president with sex tapes...gee, I'm glad we didn't put a Clinton in office again

   my valentine is Manti Te'o's old girlfriend....forever alone

   my yard is so white it got nominated for an Academy Award

   woamn goes to clothing store. clerk asks if she nedds help. woman says "im looknig for a tie that makes my husbands blue eyes stand out" clerk says "make it tight enough & any eyes stand out"

   theres the old saying "you are what you eat"....glad I'm not in Britian eating horse's ass

   ive heard the old saying that "opportunity is just around the corner" but sometimes a hooker is around that corner so is the hooker your opportunity?

   the USPS should make stamps of Donald Trump just so everyone can say "I have a 'Trump Stamp' "

   a lot of single women claim they're looking for "Mr. Right" so maybe I should change my last name to "Right"......then all these women will be wanting me

   apparently Conrad Murray wasn't a SMOOTH CRIMINAL like he though. now if he drops the soap he gets a THRILLER.

   excuses are like farts.... anyone can make them but nobody likes them

   if your PC gets a virus from a porn site, is that a STD for computers?

   politicians need those burn-proof suits like NASCAR drivers wear....liar liar pants are on fire

   A long time ago in a galaxy far far away.... Disney bought out Lucasfilms

   love is like lottery numbers....gotta keep finding the crappy ones before you get the good ones

   what do you call it when a cow is sitting down? ... ground beef