nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I now hold it in my hands. Finally. The expressed written consent of the National Football League.
←Rate | 06-21-2016 09:10 by Fazzella Comments (0)  

   messageicon The day a black NFL player gets shot by a cop, ruining Paul Ryan's fantasy football team, will be the day the GOP addresses police brutality.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Half the world is in a race war and the other half is running around catching Pokemon with their phones, and I'm just sitting here on my couch waiting for football season.
←Rate | 07-14-2016 14:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tim Tebow speaking at the Republican National Convention guarantees the Republicans have no shot at winning the Superbowl next year.
←Rate | 07-15-2016 16:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.
←Rate | 08-31-2016 20:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon High School In 5 Words: Wore helmet. Didn't play football.
←Rate | 09-09-2016 16:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..... Personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
←Rate | 09-20-2016 18:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wearing a football jersey to Buffalo Wild Wings is dad cosplay.
←Rate | 10-02-2016 04:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.
←Rate | 10-02-2016 04:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one wants to watch your Facebook live video from your crappy seats at a football game.
←Rate | 10-02-2016 04:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
←Rate | 10-15-2016 05:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish there were no women football announcers. Isn't there a badminton channel they can get a gig with?
←Rate | 11-18-2016 09:38 by Sheezatayhay Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..... Congratulations Redblacks!!! ...... Wait a minute .... What the heck is a Redblack? ..... Answer: Another Underdog ..... Who just won the Grey Cup!!! ..... OK .... It's the Canadian (People that live north of the US) ..... version of the Superbowl.
←Rate | 11-27-2016 22:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saw Luke Bryan is singing the National Anthem at the Superbowl. So I thought I'd post a preview for everyone....Oh Girl can you see by my pickup's headlights what so proudly we hail on the old dirt road ...
←Rate | 01-23-2017 12:01 by Sharpie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume
←Rate | 01-24-2017 08:09 by bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..
←Rate | 02-02-2017 20:05 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know what would would solve the whole Kaepernick issue? If only he was a better football player...
←Rate | 08-08-2017 22:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch
←Rate | 09-07-2017 21:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Uh, rah rah baseball people. Football season's begun. More You can stop now. Thanks.
←Rate | 09-13-2017 17:02 by Otis Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who are the fallen soldiers more mad at (1) Football players who take a knee or (2) A sellout who hands over the presidency of America to Russian control?
←Rate | 10-30-2017 11:59 Comments (1)  

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