Jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon She said: "I miss the old you." I know that she meant the young me
←Rate | 07-01-2015 21:31 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff....Duh dum chhsh!
←Rate | 07-05-2015 22:10 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon When asked what's the capital of Greece? Greece is bankrupt and it has no capital.
←Rate | 07-09-2015 19:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why must I prove I'm me, if I'm callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
←Rate | 07-09-2015 19:43 by Jitney Comments (2)  


   messageicon Feeling sad is better than not feeling at all. unless you into your feelings....
←Rate | 07-09-2015 20:56 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon She put her makeup on. I said : So this is how you become a ten. She said: So, this is why women leave you. Another one bites the dust.
←Rate | 10-05-2015 13:49 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in the backyard with my wife.A bird dropped its poo on her shoulder. She yelled: Disgusting. .. get me paper towel or toilet paper. I looked up in the sky and said: it is probably a mile away. Plus, birds do not wipe their aasss.
←Rate | 10-05-2015 13:51 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter is having a modern day wedding, no church... it is 2015...Break tradition. So the wedding will at a museum...
←Rate | 10-05-2015 13:52 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think that age is just a number, then prison is just a house .
←Rate | 10-26-2015 17:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Donald Trump for President" - Steve Harvey
←Rate | 12-21-2015 12:55 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Columbia is going to invade phillipians......um did I spell that right? After watching the Pageant ...Im confused also
←Rate | 12-21-2015 14:44 by jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon that moment when This morning I had call 911 on the truck with the flashing lights in behind me that passed me....turns out it wasnt a cop on the phone, its was the dispatcher.
←Rate | 12-31-2015 08:47 by jitney Comments (2)  


   messageicon If I win the Power Ball, I will buy two lbs of cheese from Whole Food.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:52 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon She says that she needs a bigger closet, but she has nothing to wear.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:54 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend asked my advice on how to impress his date. I suggested that I go in his place.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:58 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at the super market. I bought 2 dozen eggs. I only looked stupid pushing 2 baskets. I would have been really stupid If I put all my eggs in 1 basket.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 21:15 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
←Rate | 01-11-2016 21:21 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are rat traps in the car-care section of this Walmart supermarket? Plenty to catch if they set it at the front of the store..
←Rate | 01-19-2016 15:15 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard on the radio a statistic that said that one out of three women in miami is pretty. I looked to the right...wow...I looked to the left...wow...I hit the car in front of me and a woman came out...wow.. Who the hell is collecting data?
←Rate | 01-21-2016 12:36 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a TIP: Never ask a woman what's wrong and never not ask her either.
←Rate | 01-21-2016 12:38 by jitney Comments (0)  




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