jitney Funny Status Messages

   Lets treat guns like printers, expensive ink and bullets! that way if you really shoot someone,....oh you really meant to kill them with this $3000 silver bullet!

   True Story: Seeing a car set on fire with no doors at 12 midnight outside your miami house window is a sure sign KuKluxKlan has been doing some recruiting.

   Just saw A good day to die hard" movie. and its like tthey just took the Benz logo and stuck it on every vehicle they cud find, including a tank!

   "Im not materialistic or superficial".....says the girl who goes shopping to cheer her up

   Last time I saw you was last year. It felt so long ago, but I really miss you. I'm so happy I get to see you again this year. Tonight Lets Party hard! Thank you for coming back Saturday!

   Why do some women wear panties with flowers on them?....."IN loving memorie of all those who died here?"

   She put her makeup on. I said : So this is how you become a ten. She said: So, this is why women leave you. Another one bites the dust.

   Corrections its Every time I leave the house: ✔Phone ✔Wallet ✔Keys ✔extra phone battery and ✔Battery Charger

   Dude, you was that drunk..... When I asked you what happened to the bottle of Tequila you said...."I plead the Cinco de Mayo"

   You ever posted something and before you can even proofread it there's like 50 million likes?

   When an ignorant person feels that he won an argument he loses. When he loses an argument, he actually wins knowledge.

   Thinking about kicking her out my Cheaters Elite club! I only deal with ppl who can find the answers for quizes fast! Not slow ppl who needs me to show them how Google came up with the answers..

   It only two dangling thingys and I still dont know which one to pull....-ceiling fans all over the world!

   You can fix everyone's problems, but when it comes to you, you're lost.

   Man, it was so HOT today, Instagram stop working!.....

   Rich people can get away with it......Not Section 8.

   Just saw a pic of some light skinned black girls in thongs titled "Red Tails".

   I had to switch to the Ipad to see what you wrote on FB.....I just turn it on, and I could of sworn I saw a middle finger come up at the beginning of the screen before it died again...

   hey...do we look like we into cheap and safe like candles and flashlights???....Obviously when it comes to lighting crayons on fire, we into much more than just cheap and safe!

   But in other news.... Etchy Sketches Stocks Went up ever since Romney's spokesman said He'll have to go back to the drawing board.