FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got 2 it first.

   "When life gives you eggs, turn them into omelets!" is probably a terrible slogan for an abortion clinic.

   Gas so high in Brockton that it hasn't been a drive-by in 2 months.”

   Chicks piss on dudes all the time and call it squirting, so why was R. Kelly frowned upon...

   My Homeless Sign Would Say "I Bet You $10 That You'll Read This"

   Shout out to all the girls who know how to arch that back right when you giving her back shots

   Dudes be talking that "I fear nothing but god" b.s but let a loose pitbull start running down the street.

   took you to dinner,a movie,then for drinks,get back too your house then tell me you have your period (・_・)ノ”(ノ_<)

   ‎‎(ｏ・_・)ノ”(ノ_<。) I hate you -__- ?30secs later (っ˘з(˘.˘ )♥ Bipolar Love

   These arrmy commercials always show video game stuff they don't show dudes tryna eat a pizza with no hands when they get back

   Using your phone very strategically when it hits "Low Battery."

   The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard" ?*

   I wish my farts would make people disintegrate like in "The Darkest Hour" movie trailer.

   Oven mitts and rubber gloves are thegloves that females wear in their respectedsports

   Whether you order a six-inch or a foot- long, both you and your sandwich artist are thinking about diks for at least a second.

   Last night my wife and I had a dinner party. About Halfway through it, I decided to walk the dog. My wife went mental and told me to grow up and stop doing tricks with my yoyo.

   It's never acceptable to hit a woman, unless that trick puts light mayo in your sandwich.

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life (‾(••)‾)

   a real woman rotates tha batteries in her remote wit tha batteries in her vibrator

   I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving.