Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep

   Some of you I'd like to take under my wing like a mother hen. Others of you I'd like to trap between my thighs like the Cougar that I am.

   Both George Zimmermans parents are hispan!c but he's wh!te, Obama's mother is wh!te but he's bl@ck-------Bl@ck people

   The reason folks who don't work @ Walmart know the deficit was 11 trillion in 2007 is because they graduated from high school and their sister in-wife isn't also their mother.

   My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.

   Some kid told my son knee pads are for pussies. I told him no, that's 'maxi' pads. And his mother should see a doctor.

   My girlfriend went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her "b!tch refresher course".

   Got my passport application forms back today..... Apparently in the Place of Birth section:"between my mother's legs" isn't an acceptable answer.

   what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.

   what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.

   i went on a pleasure trip this morning. I took my mother in law back to the airport.

   what's an ideal weight for a mother in law? 3 pounds including the urn.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   I'm pretty sure I got my sense of humor from my mother because when I was 10 years old my Dad said he sent her to the funny farm.

   Our constantly changing mother earth....The original bi-polar.

   Am I the only mother***king one who doesn't understand a f***king word that Katt Williams motherf***king says?

   Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is!!

   Anyone who says single moms don't do both roles of a mother & father when the father doesn't spend time or money with his children is THE DEAD BEAT we are referring to!!

   You know when you rearrange "Mother -In-Law" in any language you still get "Women Hitler!"......Got a PuertoRican-Haitian Hitler to deal with

   HOODTRANSLATIONS: "Bruh I got da whip"= My mother was kind enough to let me use the car Today.....