Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
←Rate | 07-09-2014 04:12 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting drunk.
←Rate | 07-10-2014 05:23 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Couples Advice: never go to bed angry. Stay awake for weeks, slowly going insane as your body and mind collapse in on themselves.
←Rate | 07-12-2014 20:37 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jurassic Park was a cautionary tale about the dangers of underpaying IT workers
←Rate | 07-16-2014 03:04 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish saying "Uncle" to Life would work.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 18:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in a weird place mentally. And physically. And geographically
←Rate | 07-29-2014 18:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
←Rate | 07-30-2014 05:17 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dream of a universe where world leaders rush to comment on entertainment news as quickly as entertainers rush to comment on world affairs.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 19:03 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if oil is made from decomposed dinosaurs, and plastic is made from oil...then plastic dinosaurs are made from REAL dinosaurs?
←Rate | 08-06-2014 04:48 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone really believe Bobby Brown even knew what a prerogative was?
←Rate | 08-11-2014 04:43 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
←Rate | 08-12-2014 05:31 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't run with scissors -- unless you're stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
←Rate | 08-15-2014 14:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
←Rate | 08-19-2014 06:23 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die
←Rate | 08-23-2014 06:28 by Huck Comments (2)  


   messageicon How long do I need to be in therapy before I forget the time in gym class when I was hit in the stomach with a dodge ball and farted?
←Rate | 09-03-2014 10:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t try calling me back after you miss my call. I make 3 calls a year. You blew it.
←Rate | 09-09-2014 05:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
←Rate | 09-11-2014 05:28 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad
←Rate | 09-12-2014 05:31 by Huck Comments (2)  


   messageicon My ideal job would be "guy in infomercial who is legitimately baffled by simple, everyday tasks"
←Rate | 09-13-2014 10:41 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I could ever stab someone... I mean lets be honest. I can barely get the straw through a Capri Sun
←Rate | 09-14-2014 18:01 by Huck Comments (0)  




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